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Sunday, November 30, 2003

John Lever's Crocodile

About one year ago, two of John Lever's crocodiles engaged in a deadly fight resulting in this 5 meter crocodile ending up dead!

Lever's Crocodile

If there were any doubts about John Lever's love for crocodiles and his ability as a hunter and expert, they were finally laid to rest during the exclusive conversation that my kids, wife, and I had with John right before his departure. Next month, John is visiting a town in Australia to catch a 4 meter crocodile. And John has promised to send us all those pictures.

Handsomely dressed with a hat made out of Croco skin and a very beautiful bracelet made out of Croco skin with two Croco teeth stuck in it as well, John Lever finally waves Ah Bo [the Baby Croc], Hong Kong and our family a warm good bye as he proceeds towards the departure gates. But before John departs, he removes his Croco bracelet and ties it on Ron Bach Jr.'s hand.

What a great gift! The AFCD guy watches on but says nothing. How could he say anything even though AFCD wouldn't exactly be happy with anyone possessing Croco skin or Croco teeth in Hong Kong?

It was John's choice. And Ron Jr. watches on in amazement at John and now his most precious treasure in life so far!

John's Crocodile Bracelet

Yes, I had no interest in the ridiculously expensive Harbour Fest. But I had no idea that the destined Croco Fest would end up being such a joyous and the most important event our family had in 2003.

More great pics later with a final cover up of Croco Fest and "Good Bye John".

Saturday, November 29, 2003

While I am away...

Guest Blogger

She will take over...

Friday, November 28, 2003

Croco Fest Ends [Updated]

Simon's observation about Bo Bo or Ah Bo the Yuen Long Crocodile being a free entertainment in Hong Kong [and a major source of media news], is as true, as the fact that like everything else, everything must eventually end.

Our family has been hanging out at Croco Land [Nam Seng Wai area] for weeks and therefore it was only appropriate that we visit today, the last day John Lever will ever sail around for his hunt of locating Ah Bo.

I guess, thanks goes to the friendly reporter Nick Gentle of SCMP [also an Australian] who had the courtesy to call me today morning and inform us that Lever will again be on the site at 04:00 PM.

So while kids were at school, I called off all my meetings, canceled my plans to go to China later in the afternoon and my wife and I went hunting for Hong Kong souvenirs. We got some gifts that we thought John would like to take back home and when the younger two finished school at 1:00 PM, off we all drove [minus the eldest son] to Croco Land.

That I hate the place [already] is a given. Not because John cannot grab Ah Bo, but because the place is eerie! Chemical fumes shoot out of factories in all directions, scorching sun [yes weather changes every three hours in Hong Kong] beats down burning the skin, all sorts of waste oozes in Shan Pui river from all the "other" people in Yeun Long, and the group of tired reporters who hang out there remind one of "Dead Man Walking".

Surprisingly though, everyone felt OK, but not me. I have skin allergy, water allergy, and air allergy in Hong Kong, alongside brain allergy since my birth. In short I felt that not Ah Bo, but my physical demise was just around the corner!

However, today, the scene was a bit different. You see, two Mainland Croco experts were receiving a briefing from John.

Where Ah Bo sleeps, where it plays, where it goes for a night out, and how it flirts with the village women at night when no one is watching. OK, I made that last part up about women.

But you tell me... How can any person, who cannot understand either Cantonese or English, learn from a Gweilo who only speaks English, translated via someone who can speak both English and Cantonese, and then re-translated into Mandarin, be briefed?

By the time the message reached Mainland Experts it must have been something like:

Ah-Bo the baby Croco sleeps, it is play out night, women are flirting when no one is watching?

I was tempted to jump in the boat as a volunteer and join them all, as I speak all three languages plus some more. But I refrained, as I might as well be jumping in a grave due to my death induced via chemical dissolution of my physical body.

After what seemed like three or four hours of John [or rather Uncle John as my kids call him] taking them around in different directions... Croco Bedroom, Croco Bathroom, Croco Dining room, Croco Emigration Checkpoint... all of them landed on the hideously dark Chung Hau Tsuen village pathway.

Nick had already informed us where John would be and therefore my kids, wife, and I were waiting at the village pier, minus the reporters and journalists. But like bees darting for the hive, a couple of them appeared right when my kids were giving gifts to John.

John was happy. One of the gifts was a small baby crocodile made out of jade [Chinese love jade]. The other was a traditional and antique Chinese musical instrument, made of copper.

John sat with Veronica and Ron Jr. on a log near the banks and we got good opportunity for yet another photo session. My wife brought out John's previous pictures with kids and John generously signed them, thus giving the 7th or 8th autograph to my kids! After which John walked off with the Mainland experts to a press conference.

After about half hour of press conference, the Mainland experts then made a bold statement:

"We have seen the place. But we will only plan the strategies to catch Ah Bo the baby croc, after we have seen it".

Cheers Baby!

My family and I have been hanging out for weeks and we have seen Baby Croco only twice. That too briefly and at a distance. No wonder John could not find it as often as he would have wanted to.

And by all accounts, Baby Croco has left the lovely polluted Shan Pui river and its diseased seafood for some fresh stocks. If you ask me, I think Baby Croco has gone to Bali.

After the press conference, John opened the gifts and announced to all reporters "that these kids gave me these wonderful gifts". Veronica and Ron Jr. stood on each side of John and again lots of flashes and cameras went off. "This is my Hong Kong family" added John upon which both my wife and I felt that the effort of doing all this was worthwhile.

While leaving in the AFCD car, John fished out a picture of a huge crocodile and gave it to us saying "This is for your family. This is the biggest crocodile I ever had, but it passed away".

Yes, the crocodile in the picture with John Lever was quite impressive. And John looked quite impressive as well. But, I am too tired right now, so I will scan it tomorrow and post it here. After which I promise I will not talk about John Lever or Crocodiles anymore at this blog.

So tomorrow will be the last day, or "Good bye and thanks John".

After John and all reporters drove away and while our family was also getting in the car... I saw a distant flash. Unmistakably a camera flash from the far end of Shan Pui river.

Could Ah Bo the Baby Croc also be taking the last pictures of John Lever? You never know. S/he has proved to be exceptionally smart and I wouldn't be surprised if Ah Bo got itself some pictures. Perhaps, Ah Bo will miss the Croco Fest as well...

P.s.: I am sure there are a lot of grammatical and tense errors in this post. But judging from my condition, it can only wait to be corrected after I have had some decent sleep. Talking about sleep, I have been deprived of it since before the Blogger Fest.

Update:

1) I have removed the quotes from "Mainland Experts" and changed it to Mainland experts. It wasn't my intention to mock them or anything, just that I was too tired last night and wrote haphazardly.

2) I have tried to correct the grammar and tenses, but to really make it alright, I would have to re-eidt the post considerably. That is not a good blogger etiquette and therfore, while the language still sucks, well, you get the point.

3) Considering that it is already [almost] winter, I personally do not think Ah Bo the Baby Croc will resurface anytime soon. Perhaps next summer? And, in that case Ah Bo would have become a dangerous entity and not just a innocent Fest Star.

Let us see what happens then.

4) Yesterday since John was surrounded and in AFCD car, we could not get his autograph on the picture of the huge crocodile he gave us. Tonight [Saturday] we are going to his farewell party, so we will get it signed and then I will scan over here as promised.

Finally, thanks for bearing with me about a lot of Croco stories. But as Phil pointed out, it has now become a special event and parents are always happy when their kids are happy.

Cheers!

Thursday, November 27, 2003

A Great Evening

Simon the wonderful host, greeted everyone with a drink and soon Hong Kong bloggers commenced their first official gathering on the first floor at Fong's.

Phil started the introductions and Dave as well as Jack, the reader, almost arrived in time for the introductions.

While Phil started the discussion on problems facing bloggers as well as tips and techniques for improving local blogs via custom design of blogging programs, a very charming and joyous lady, joined the scene.

In a corner, a curious man quietly listened to our conversation. And as soon as he started fumbling with his professional camera gear, some of us abruptly stopped as we thought that SCMP had finally arrived.

Turned out, it was Terry, a visiting blogger from the States, who started interesting discussions including "Burning Man" in deserts of Nevada.

Eyal joined in and so did Chris, Andrew, and Ben alongside his friends. Yes, I expected him to come nekkid, but that young man was smartly dressed and attracted the attention of every female around.

More tables had to be joined together for sitting arrangements as even more people started arriving, and while we were having drinks and dinner, none other but SWMBO [Phil's girlfriend] joined us.

It wasn't exactly a conference room and therefore, several discussions continued simultaneously where Simon, Phil, Ben, Chris, Andrew, and Eyal were discussing blogging issues at the far end, the ladies having their own conversations and Terry and I discussing all issues from American politics to women.

In the meantime, a surprise arrival of Shaky left many a jaws dropped, including mine. And soon thereafter, the expected arrival of Dan Gillmor marked the official beginning of Hong Kong Blogger Fest.

Some other people arrived, including ladies I took to be SWMBO's friends. But since Dan, Terry, and I were too engrossed in American politics and specifically Bush Jr., I could not get their names. Sorry.

Dave, perhaps, had the best seat in the meet. As centrally positioned, he was in all discussions on every side. Lucky Dave!

I was on the other end of the group and perhaps the most odd person around. With cellular headphones alongside microphone resembling "Mission Impossible" coiled around my ears, extremely dark tan from hanging out at Croco Land, and conversing in both hoarse English [with bloggers] and squeaky Cantonese with the ladies, prompted Terry to remark that I looked like a gangster from Al Capone land. And yes, his countless efforts to take a decent picture of me via his high-tech camera resulted in nothing but odd images of someone starring in "Enemy of the State".

For those who were present last night, it was a wonderful opportunity to learn and understand a lot about blogging from Dan, Phil, and Terry. And, almost everyone voiced out their thoughts about their blogs and their experiences.

Most people, including Simon, started leaving around midnight. But Phil, Ben, Eyal, Shaky, Terry, and Josh as well as yours truly and others headed for Wan Chai.

In a decent place, called Venue [that I visited for the first time], Ben and his gorgeous girlfriend, alongside his friends livened the environment and filled the floor, while the rest of us continued discussions about Blogging as well as camera, lenses, etc.

To be with Shaky, is like being with a nice crowd. A lot of Shaky's friends were at the "Venue" and we met some exceptionally bright and young people there which included the locals.

At about 03:00 AM the crowd started dispersing and finally when the clock hit four something, Phil and I left as well.

In all, it was a great evening that extended all the way until early morning.

P.s.: If I have missed anyone's name here, it is because I have been drinking since last evening and still have not gone to sleep yet. I am sorry.

Update:

We thought Chris was there, but he insists he wasn't. There was one other Chris over there though. Well, we all had too many drinks...

Wednesday, November 26, 2003

Come Join The Party!

Come Join The Party

We are waiting for you...

Blogger Fest

With all the different "Fests" in Hong Kong, tonight we are hosting the Hong Kong Bloggers Fest.

Hope to see you all there.

For those who cannot attend, precisely at 07:30 PM, a girlie picture will appear on this blog. And perhaps one more at midnight.

That is for celebrating the big day.

Cheers!

Tuesday, November 25, 2003

Blogger Party - Updated [See Below]

This man writes good and writes funny.

I asked him couple of questions regarding tomorrow night's blogger party. Here below are my questions and his answers [I am sure he will not mind although this was email correspondence]:

Question 1: What is the dress code?

Answer 1: No nudity until after midnight.

Question 2: Any admission or minimum fees?

Answer 2: Yes, cheques payable to me, minimums of HK$100,000.

Question 3: Any decent and convenient car park nearby that you know [apart from the ones I know]?

Answer 3: Not really, but best is probably a taxi anyway.

Question 4: Is anyone going to film/photograph the event?

Answer 4: I was thinking about taking a camera but decided not. Too many people are worried about being identified via their blogs without wanting to duck cameras.

Question 5: Is anyone else going to drive or is it just me? Because if no one is going to drive, neither will I.

Answer 5: Taxis.

Update:

What I forgot to mention a while ago, was that the questions were submitted to both Phil and Simon. After Simon's replies [above], here are Phil's! Same questions... And Phil's answers are also very funny. Here we go again:

Question 1: What is the dress code?

Answer 1: Bring a bag to put your clothes in.

Question 2: Any admission or minimum fees?

Answer 2: Post date cheque.

Question 3: Any decent and convenient car park nearby that you know [apart from the ones I know]?

Answer 3: don't drive you fool - my car is staying firmly in Fortress Hill. But if you did I would probably park in the centirum (entrance in arbuthnot road) or call your luck with a meter in the little road just above the government offices on Lower Albert Road.

Question 4: Is anyone going to film/photograph the event?

Answer 4: I am brining my camera but will collect a list of people who DO NOT WANT their faces shown and will blurt them out.

Question 5: Is anyone else going to drive or is it just me? Because if no one is going to drive, neither will I.

Answer 5: No, no one else wants to lose their license.

There. Now you have all the information about tomorrow night.

See you all there. Cheers!

Cross Culture

I tried to continue my day normally but something was amiss. I wasn't happy. Yes, a lot of it had to do with what transpired yesterday.

Well, to cut a long story short, whatever transpired yesterday was a blow up of issues related to cross culture. Not that cross culture is something very unique to Hong Kong. In fact cross cultural problems exist the world around.

We have a huge trench between Afro-Americans and Euro-Americans back home. Out here in Hong Kong similar takes form between Caucasians and Chinese or for that matter several different origins and nationality. And while reading some of the China blogs, everything written there sounds just too familiar.

Yes, some of us are married to local women in a place we now call home. And of course, some of us are proud parents of children as well.

I remember the day when I announced to my parents that I was marrying a Hong Kong Chinese lady. My mother was very shocked. Over the years she was introducing me to many Spanish girls, as part of my mother's family still lives in Spain. And my father insisted that I marry a German girl.

"Trust me child, cross culture marriages are tough" they both advised. And they had experience. While both of my parents were born in the States, their families came from different parts of Europe. Nonetheless, the divide between North and South Europe is as pronounced as the divide between Northern and Southern States.

Unwaveringly though, I still went ahead with my marriage. Not because I have any fetish for Asian women, but simply because I love my wife.

However, long before we were married, my wife and I had to tolerate unwelcome comments and remarks regarding our relationship.

People close to me used to highlight that "She is only marrying you for your passport. Once she gets it, she will quit you. Remember 1997?". On the other hand, she had to tolerate rude comments like "Chin Kak" [translated in English it means a person of low morale or cheap character - the comment was in regard to her selecting a Gweilo instead of a local]. I very much remember breaking the nose of a Hong Kong guy who said that to my wife in a Chinese restaurant. Had my wife not stopped me then, that person would not be roaming this planet anymore.

Anyway, I was sad throughout the day because even after 17 years and speaking fluent Cantonese [and Mandarin], somehow I am always an outsider, a stranger. In spite of the fact that I know Chinese history in more details than locals do. And, I did learn all the customs and traditions that are long forgotten by the current and young generation of locals.

I also felt sad that someone who could have a better understanding of such problems, went ahead and joined the same mockery that my wife and I have been subjected to, under a guise of joke. And I also felt sad that the concerned person did not have the slightest idea of the repercussions. Not that the concerned person had any bad intentions, but just misguided [probably].

And if the concerned person is reading this, then let it be known that everything is forgiven and will be forgotten from my side.

Anyway, it is needless to say that I feel pity for all the future cross culture couples or for that matter interracial couples. But apart from that pity, I am really worried about their children as well as mine.

Will they be subjected to mockery?

At least my parents and I were lucky that we are all from Europe [originally], although our ancestors emigrated to USA. Comparatively, my kids may not be that lucky. It isn't just cross cultural now. It is interracial.

Monday, November 24, 2003

Homophobic Racist Gweilos

Glutter, one of the Hong Kong bloggers has decided to call us names.

When challenged that she herself is a racist calling people all sorts of names and insulting their families, she somehow thinks that she is doing a public service.

I will leave the judgments up to you. Read the comment(s) section and take a look at some fetish pictures.

Are we having fun yet? Well, I guess we are.

Bad News

I was not feeling well last night and today the diagnosis indicate that I might be suffering from influenza.

This means, I might not be able to attend Wednesday's Blogger Party.

Will try to take overdose of medicine to see if I can still recover and somehow make it as I still have 48 hours. But hey, no promises.

In the meantime, if I cannot make it, you all have fun.

Cheers!

Sunday, November 23, 2003

It Is Tough Being A Man!

Well deserved thanks go to Mafu via whose blog I was able to read The Pussification Of The Western Male by Kim du Toit.

At the risk of irritating women readers of this blog [some of whom are my best friends], I suggest that you first read the essay and then my opinion about it:

Women and men are different and most obvious are their biological differences. Nonetheless, 20th Century saw instigation of concepts like "Equality Rights" or "Women's Rights".

It is true that men have dominated women for a major part of recent history. But it is equally true that there are groups and interests behind all social patterns and behavior. The domination, therefore, is a result of patriarchal society that aggressively established itself during the Roman Empire.

And even before that, the origins of patriarchal society find its roots in Vedic societies [Hindu form of way in India] during 3,300 B.C. or when Lord Rama the "avatar" of Gods was supposedly born. It is said that Lord Rama created the rule of "Eka Patni Dharma" or what we term monogamy [having a single wife].

There is also a legend that Ravana [an evil man] kidnapped Sita [wife of Lord Rama] and after rescuing Sita, Lord Rama made her walk on fire to test her purity. Actually, it wasn't a real walk on fire, but a lot has been misconstrued as many fail to understand the symbolism of languages spoken during those times [e.g. Sanskrit].

However, we are not totally interested in history itself, but rather the cause of it. It is useless to argue whether China or India are the oldest civilizations or for that matter Mayans, Incans, Babylonians, etc.

Researching world history [one of my hobbies], it is evident that the concept of countries, nations, etc. did not exist during the earliest records of civilization, and humanity found itself within confines of tribes or tribal kingdoms.

Moreover, as we research further in humanity's past, we come across references where the matriarch dominated the society in the form of matriarchal society. Men and women, it seems, lived in a group and there were no clear boundaries of marriage, monogamy, etc. Sex or intercourse was considered a natural instinct and also a form of art and/or worship [of creation].

This is well documented on the temples of Khajurao [Note: Average quality of pictures, but not many on the net]. And apart from temples, Vedic Science also gave out classics like "Kama Sutra" [or the art of sex].

But what has all this got to do with the current and perceived divide between women and men in developed nations?

A lot. Matriarchal society paved out to patriarchal society because of a single reason. Inheritance. During the matriarchal era, it was difficult for Tom, Dick, and Harry to identify his own children. Because, as I said, there were no boundaries of marriage or companionship [or in other words intercourse].

As societies developed and as soon as Tom, Dick, and Harry started having larger herds of cattle, goats, silver, gold, etc., they were puzzled on their death beds about who got their inheritance? Should it be divided amongst all children of the tribe, or just to his children within the tribe? This, because Tom, Dick, and Harry were unable to distinguish their own children from those of others.

This single factor, inspired by materialism, changed everything and led to possessiveness which ended the matriarchal society. Now, women were only allowed one husband and theoretically, it was also decided that men could only have one wife. I will not go into issues like carrying the last name of patriarch [father] or the fact that we all have mitochondrial DNA [mtDNA] only from matriarch [mother] as that is another story which could make a book.

But, the problems arising due to changes from matriarchal to patriarchal societies are many. However, the main problem specifically relates to biological and genetical makeup. Men are capable of spreading their seeds far and wide. Meaning that it is difficult for a man to just be with one woman, although [current] society forces him to do so.

During a single ejaculation, an average man can ejaculate millions of sperms and along the same lines, an average man can theoretically have 30 to 35 kids within a month. Now compare this with the ovulation of a woman. A woman can ovulate once per month and if she conceives, during one year she can only give birth to a single kid.

Let us not look at sex as if it were some form of excitement or entertainment, but simply from the point of view of progeny, which, its primary role is.

The above differences, alongside human nature to pass their material wealth, the continuation of their "name" or in other words, fame, have resulted in the [present] society, where everything is judged by materialism. Being "The Rich and the Famous" is the goal of each and every individual on this planet and over centuries of evolution, this too has become part of inherited trait.

During the course of natural evolution, it is unarguable that men were and are physically stronger and women were and are emotionally and mentally stronger. A picture of men as hunters and women as nourisher is not dismissible by aggressive campaigns of equality and rights.

In fact, if one looks at the role of women, they were [and are] far superior to men. Women as we all know, can give birth by undergoing a lot of troubles throughout their pregnancy that averages 9 months and nurturing and nourishing the babies [or humanity] thereafter. In this aspect, I see women as Goddesses. As you are all aware or can find out via About Me, I do not believe in hypocritic religion(s) but have one of my own that is nothing but appreciation of the supreme nature.

When I myself was a child [and even now], I saw women putting on T-shirts that said "It Is Tough Being A Woman". To which I say, It Is Equally Tough Being A Man".

Simply because, in our [present] competitive society, a lot is expected from a man. He must study hard and get good grades, complete University graduation, start a career and at the same time fall in love with his [proposed] future wife, have children with her, ensure that family gets the bread, clothing, and shelter, protect all of them, get promotions and accumulate wealth, and when everything is settled, all of a sudden the man realizes that he is too tired, too old, and has lost on lots of fun or for that matter, his life [I know this is a long sentence and grammatically incorrect, but I excuse myself].

Here in come the groups and interests who have understood this chain or cycle. Our economics and politics have laid such a perfect trap that for most families, it has [now] become difficult if not impossible for a single bread winner [usually man] in most households to maintain the well being and social status of a “family unit”.

The same factors that forced the switch from matriarchal to patriarchal societies in distant past, shape the society in which we live today – materialism and greed or just basic survival for the majority.

Therefore, it is no wonder that even the current model of a "family unit" is failing. We have, as far as I believe, reached the saturation point where both husband and wife work for the bread and invest majority of their savings in mortgages, credits, insurance, medical care, etc.

If that model worked fine, the number of divorces or bankruptcies would not be so high. Neither would be the carelessness or lack of responsibility amongst our young generation who have given up all hopes in growing pessimism or insecurity and uncertainty. And going a step further, even Hong Kong would not have the alarming rate of suicide that it has [especially] after 1998 when its once prosperous economy crashed.

As mentioned by both Mafu and Kim du Toit, as well as others...

Blame the TV which is nothing but subliminal mind control gadget used to shape the human mind and in the process, the future of our society.

A new switch over [of society] is in the making. One which is even more disgusting and can hold nothing but sadness. And as has been throughout the history, puppets will be manipulated and soon the trends will become the acceptable form of “society” with its own rigid and unnatural set of [new] rules.

Harmony, equality of distribution, and abundance [amongst all people] are the last things that the groups and interests manipulating us want. They know our weaknesses – possessiveness, materialism, sex, and greed. Do we know theirs? Until we do, there always will be tycoons, cartels, and monopolies. Yes, the subliminal mind control via TV is that effective!

I would hardly be surprised by future TV programs as mentioned by others where Gay Rights, Lesbianism, Group Sex or Alternative Sexual Behavior, etc. are broadcast on Prime Time News and pass under the guise to protect rights. I have nothing against gays or lesbians or even those who enjoy group sex or alternate behavior. Just that I do not think these are things that need high profile advertisement or stimulants for mental conditioning for some dubious goals.

Undoubtedly then, the pussification of men will surely continue while at the same time exposure of women as nothing but sexual toys will escalate.

This is one reason we restrict our children from watching TV. We might be outdated and traditional, but tradition is one thing we surely will gift our children.

And it is the only reason that I love living in Hong Kong or Asian societies as I still find tradition amongst people over here who have yet to be brainwashed – dead. Though unfortunately, even here it is changing for the worst.

OK now go ahead... shout at me. I will take it.

Saturday, November 22, 2003

A Tale of Two Villages

While Baby Croco basks on the banks of Shan Pui river, the villagers of Nam Seng Wai and Chung Hau Tsuen are irritated that their plans have come to a naught.

Baby Croco

Lately, Baby Croco is attracting a lot of attention. However, the villagers insist that Baby Croco has been happily playing in Shan Pui river since May, 2003.

So how come no one reported Baby Croco earlier?

"We thought it was a big fish and we let it swim". Say some of the villagers when asked.

This statement is apparently quite dubious. I have never seen big fish left alone in Hong Kong and there is no doubt it would become dinner at first glance.

Shan Pui river is perhaps the most polluted river in Hong Kong. At least in the vicinity of Nam Seng Wai and Chung Hau Tsuen villages. Villagers complain that the drainage system responsible for disposing waste from Yuen Long area is the main source of pollution.

The pollution is the only reason they left the "big fish" alone, claim the villagers.

So when did the villagers realize that the "big fish" was in fact a crocodile?

When it started getting bigger about a month ago. Claims Mr. Li who lives just near the pathway to Chung Hau Tsuen village.

Chung Hau Tsuen Village Pathway
Mr. Li also adds that police were informed when Baby Croco was growing in to more than a "baby". However, Mr. Chan, who ferries visitors and locals across Shan Pui river disagrees with Mr. Li.

According to Mr. Chan, the villagers first informed Oriental Daily News [a local Chinese newspaper] about Baby Croco after which Police and AFCD visited the site.

Mr. Li and Mr. Chan, however are consistent about the fact that Baby Croco was known to villagers since May, 2003.

Nonetheless, there is ego at play between these two who belong to different villages. Mr. Li is a resident of Chung Hau Tsuen village, whereas Mr. Chan is a resident of Nam Seng Wai village.

Shan Pui river separates these two villages.

Two Villages

And how do they feel about John Lever?

Residents of both villages are displeased with John Lever. A simple reason being that they had offered to catch Baby Croco for HK$2,000 [as per Mr. Chan] or HK$5,000 [as per Mr. Li] with conditions of "no catch no pay".

However, AFCD objected to this arrangement out of concerns that Baby Croco might swallow the villagers alive or at least harm them.

Are they aware that John Lever has volunteered for free and is not being paid?

No, but if someone receives so much fanfare with all expenses paid, it is better than risking lives for HK$2,000. Yes, they are jealous.

And if allowed, who would be catching Baby Croco? Well, a genius fisherman who happens to live in either of these villages. Somehow, villagers from both villages will not reveal his identity as John Lever is at the scene.

While leaving them, I do feel a sense of desperation amongst them. They remember the glorious days when Shan Pui river was exceptionally clean. When people lived in harmony and did fish in the river and it was the most wonderful time that grown ups recall.

Even film companies used to come to their village to shoot movies and capture the beautiful natural habitat that surrounded their village.

But a decade ago, all that changed. Rapid industrialization of Yuen Long with factories springing up everywhere and more and more residents moving in government subsidized housing estates that [now] flood the region begun the pollution of Shan Pui river.

Industrialization

So who do they think is responsible and should clean up the place?

With almost total exasperation they sigh. "Do you think anyone cares about us"?

Haunted

Having nothing more to say, I leave the place. Saddened that these are the old people who were the past of Hong Kong and who had high hopes. Today, they have nothing but just a little bit of dignity that Baby Croco has given them.

Perhaps, Lever will never understand as to why he is unable to catch Baby Croco in Hong Kong. No... It has nothing to do with environment or lights or pollution. But has everything to do with unfair advantages to a select few in Asia's World City

Cheers... or may be NOT!

Friday, November 21, 2003

Blogger Gossip

Watch out. Your cleanest, quietest colleague could be a dirty blogger, a raving member of an intimate cyber tribe in which fantasies are shared. William Marshall reports

Since Flying Chair has a good analysis of the ridiculous article by William Marshall of SCMP, I will refrain from repeating similar analysis of each paragraph. And I am also NOT happy that somehow Mr. Marshall targeted one of the most gentle blogger amongst our group.

First of all, we the Hong Kong bloggers, or at least myself, are in a dilemma. Are we, less than 20 Hong Kong Bloggers, so much of a threat to the century old local newspaper [which by the way few are eager to read]? Or is it that the falling advertising revenues leaves ample space for the publication which lacks material and therefore surfs internet for such indiscreet material as posted by us bloggers? And it is not our material that they are after, but just news about a get together party where some [not all] of us will meet for the first time.

If a self proclaimed esteemed newspaper has nothing better to do rather than to pry into online surfer's blogs or for that matter their life, then I can only wonder about the quality of journalism.

However, I leave that judgment up to you.

Besides, it seems Mr. Marshall has not been too attentive on the blogs he was reading. We aren't teenage girls in United States of America who just create blogs to inform their friends what they would be wearing the next day.

Blog might be a common term, but the scope of blogs cover more topics than a newspaper does. In fact, perhaps with the advent of Internet communications and free news from all over the world, those who have yet to polish their business skills feel unduly threatened.

How else could one explain such a waste of time and precious publication space with nothing but gossip about a blogger party?

And ironically, it goes under the section of "Life". Or should we say "Go get a life"?

Changes

I have made some changes to the template and now the recent comments appear on the left sidebar.

Some of the comments are interesting therefore I decided to add that.

I am also working on photo albums. While I do not want to concentrate too much on Croco, I think I will give it my best shot for these two days.

An afternoon with Nick Gentle [SCMP] and interviews with villagers in Croco Land brought out some surprising information about Baby Croco.

I might delete or re-edit some posts [not exactly a good blogger etiquette] however I think this blog behaves like a ship without a compass.

Must straighten all that out.

Cheers!

Thursday, November 20, 2003

Support Lever

Update:

I have removed the abstract comments by John Lever as I will be putting up Lever's formal interview(s) alongside pictures.

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

Lever's Proud Fans!

John Lever, the Australian Crocodile expert, has two new young fans. These two adore him like a hero. They kept awake until 03:00 AM to get his autograph at the Yuen Long creek [San Pui River]:

Today, they skipped school as they were very sleepy and visited John again requesting him for yet another autograph.

Amazed, John said "Hey fella, you took it last night"! Nonetheless, he signed the autograph again.

After which, John walked with the two towards the crowd of reporters:

And to the amazement of his manager as well as all reporters, John bent down to lift both the kids up.

Cameras flashed around and all reporters crowded John, and my kids. But I think I got the best shot amongst the crowd:

Apparently, Ron Jr. was rather heavy and John realized that:

Yes! These are my kids and the shine in their eyes and their happiness is worth more than trillion dollars.

Thank you John. Thank you very much. You have given a gift to my kids that they will never forget.

Make it happen. Make it happen. Urges a constant voice in my mind to ensure that my wife, kids, parents, and friends get nothing but the best.   

Now there are only two things I am worried about.

1) My kids want to have their picture taken while riding on the back of Croco when it is captured!

2) God save their friends in school from inferiority complex when Veronica and Ron Jr. go to school tomorrow. I wouldn't be surprised to see my kids' pictures splashed in tomorrow's newspapers all over Hong Kong.

Wishing John all the best for his upcoming Bali trip, the family returns home at 06:30 PM.

My wife looks at me while I drive and says "Ron, you might be the most execrable person on this planet, but I love you".

Thanks honey. I do need some encouragement from time to time. And...

If I am a piece of shit, I am the best piece of shit you ever saw!

Anyway Croco Fest continues and is gearing up to unimaginable heights of entertainment. Wait until I post pictures of my kids with ATV stars who visited Croco Fest as well!

Harbor Fest, in comparison, pales. BTW Croco Fest = Zero dollars [apart from basic expenditures of sponsors]. 

Note:

I have taken down girlie pictures from this blog out of respect for my kids and family. Some of those pictures are still available via link and I might post more links in future.

But all of a sudden, this blog means a lot more different things to me compared to when I started it. Speaking about which...

Why is everyone quiet about the Hong Kong Bloggers Association idea?

Make it happen... I will.

Cheers!

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

Whoa!

Thanks to Flying Chair, See Lai now has another meaning in Cyborg terms:

Be Very Scared

Sunday, November 16, 2003

Understanding Women

After endless weeks of activity, today, I got some time to pursue my hobby of understanding women and therefore here is the guide to Understanding Women Part - I.

I might re-edit it at a later stage by adding a lot more and I do wish to compile it in some sort of book format. Anyway, I hope it will help many.

Update:

After reading "Understanding Women" , you can read what women think about men at gekkeaNNa. Look for the post "Men are like..." on November 18, 2003.

aNNabaNAna provides a funny analysis of what women think about men.

Saturday, November 15, 2003

Night Fever With John Lever

It has 66 teeth and that is a very auspicious Feng Shui number... remarks a villager standing amidst the crowd at the banks of San Pui river or what is known as Yuen Long creek.

It has come to help our village in these difficult economic times states another.

It was a Saturday just like any other. Croco Chan or Gucci, its new names now available via Phil's report, was enjoying the weekend as well.

As if enjoying at Repulse Bay, Croco Chan takes the time to swim around and even has hurried suntans on the banks of San Pui river.

Tell me you got Croco Chan, exclaims my wife pointing towards my Digital Cam.

I hit the rewind to check what I have and all I have are all the beautiful women at the scene in their Saturday best. No Croco Chan!

Doesn't he look like Chris Patton? Comes a casual remark from my eldest son. My daughter and younger son nod in agreement.

Who? Croco Chan?

No, John Lever.

Ah... yes a bit.

In a distant corner, Lever is being interviewed by reporters. I almost got him but I missed answers Lever, a calm and resolute man with a confident tone of someone who is enjoying the crocodile as much as the crocodile enjoys us.

I think I will try at four in the morning when it is dark because the lights reflecting from the surrounding buildings [mostly warehouses and factories] are too bright. Besides, we want the water level to go down so we can see it without torches. That is when I will get him... adds Lever with unwavering thoughtfulness.

Well, I don't think most of the beautiful women in the crowd would be hanging around at four in the morning and therefore, it is just going to be Lever, his assistants, sleepy reporters, administrative sods and me drinking beer and filming the capture [that is, if today is the lucky day].

One person who should have been here to increase his public ratings and popularity, has conveniently escaped to Europe as soon as Croco Chan sneaked into San Pui river.

You don't expect us to be with you until four in the morning, do you? asks my startled wife.

"No honey, let us take the kids to Tai Mo Shan mountain and country park. After that, I will send you all home and come here alone..." Saying which I leave the scene with my family.

If it is a female, we could sell Croco Omelettes or Croco eggs. I overhear the same two villagers discussing their future business plans.

We could call it San Pui Daan [where Daan means eggs in Cantonese] ideates another.

Well, I guess that is better than Croco Meat, Croco Bags, or Croco Shoes. No?

P.s.: Let me see if I can get any pictures or video tonight. If I am successful, I will post them here within two days. Cheers!

Friday, November 14, 2003

HK Bloggers Association

Simon's Big Idea has created excitement amongst Hong Kong blogging community [which isn't that large by the way] and after several days of thinking, I think I have a suggestion.

Why don't we [Hong Kong Bloggers] create some sort of association [initially does not have to be registered, etc.]?

I propose that Hemlock, The Godfather of HK bloggers and/or Conrad, The King of HK bloggers run for the election of President [of HK Bloggers Association].

At the same time, I also propose that Phil, the timely reporter and/or Randall, the adventurer run for the election of Vice Presdent [of HK Bloggers Association].

What do you think?

I am very well aware that some bloggers may not show up due to concerns of exposing real life identities. In that case, we could carry out the election on line. I am sure that Phil, with his programming talent and genius could definitely come up with some sort of voting system.

LOL, but then he would be able to control the votes for himself. Ha ha. Just kidding. We trust Phil.

We could carry this idea further like having car bumper stickers or special plates showing a lovely HK Bloggers Association logo [will someone design it?] that I could get printed/engraved/manufactured/etc. in China and OK, I will foot the initial cost of the logo/symbol/emblem/plate/sticker/whatever it will be.

As far as my real life identity is concerned, yes, my true identity is at my blog [this blog] and so I will definitely show up. And yes Giles, I am married with children. Sorry Conrad, but if you think I am infringing your copyrights by posting women pictures, let me know.

OK, let us all give this some thought. Damn, we could also create a special website for Hong Kong Bloggers Association and Hong Kong bloggers get automatic membership. Let us see what we can do about non bloggers who are our dear readers.

The scope is high and sky is the limit. I am not aware if such associations exist in other countries and especially in the States.

Let us think some more about it as we still have lots of time before Santa comes arond with lots of women as my gift!

Cheers!

Saturday, November 08, 2003

Understanding Women - Part I

Wake up on Saturday and see that my wife is extremely happy. Puzzled, I try and think why that would be?

But after a while it immediately dawns on me that her happiness is directly related to the fact that I did not use the condoms she had so cunningly put in my luggage.

This compels me to discuss the main topic of this blog. Understanding women!

From my observations, I have come to realize that women could make perfect detectives or spies. They are born with the trait and have a peculiar talent to observe all the nitty-gritty things that men always miss!

This is why a philanderer will be easily caught by his wife/girlfriend rather than the other way round. I have seen women cheat on their husbands/boyfriends left and right, but still, the poor sod hardly notices and upon having a single flirty affair in a bar, goes back home with a feeling of immensive guilt.

And somehow, women have the natural ability of always making the man feel guilty, ashamed, unethical, philanderer, etc.

I am not advocating multiple partners and even I support the family unit and believe that husband and wife must be loyal to each other. This coming from me, might sound odd, but those of you who are regular readers, may be aware as to why I am cursed or blessed in my escapades. And yes at times it is all about face. Especially in business circles where I am dealing with those whose mindset is still governed by what is right or wrong since 6,000 years.

Nonetheless, assuming that IF one day you are forced to get in my shoes, remember some very valuable suggestions and advise:

1) Call your wife and/or all girlfriends - honey, sugarplum, etc. Never address them by their names.

Because, sooner rather than later you are going to make a big fucking mistake of addressing the wrong person with a wrong name. Yes, this does happen. Subconscious part of our brain is more powerful than the conscious or unconscious part of our brain. And no matter how smart you think you are, you are no match for your own subconscious mind. Therefore, train your subconscious mind to say only the sweet general words and never a name.

2) If you see a movie, drama, attend a function, etc. with wife or girlfriend A, then do ensure that you do the same with girlfriends B, C, D... etc.

Because, one fine day, years down the road, you will all of a sudden start discussing the movie or something related with it and the in-born scanner in your wife/girlfriend will suddenly go off to make your life hopelessly miserable.

Even if you lie your way out, she will remember it for the rest of her life. There is no pretending Amnesia.

3) Never, ever, buy any dresses and give them as a gift to your girlfriend/wife. In fact, this can be taken one step further...

Never, ever, answer the question when she asks How do I look? or Does this suit me?.

Immaterial of whether your answer is yes or no or sort of, you are in big trouble. She is asking you because she cannot make up her mind. It is you she is asking, but her mind is focused on her friends or almost everyone on the street who will see her in that dress/make up/ etc.

God forbid, if just one of them tells her that it looks horrible, you my dear friend, will be the victim. Because it was your judgment that [in her mind] ruined the day.

4) Never discuss or even mention your girlfriend(s) before your marriage, or your previous girlfriend if you are with a new one.

Almost all men commit this blunder one time or another. On a similar note, never try to find out about your girlfriend's previous boyfriend or in case of your wife, well, the same.

Immaterial of your origin, do understand that the days of virgins and arranged marriages are long gone and if you want to screw up your life in perceived jealousy or insecurity [like "Does she love me?"], well, who do we blame Dorothy?

5) Answer all questions like "Do you know what day this is?" or "Do you remember what you told me before [insert xyz time]?" or "Do you know who gave you this [insert gift, etc.]?" with the standard answer:

"Honey, I have too much on my mind and am planning for the next business move or meeting or [whatever important that comes to your mind]. Please don't break my chain of thoughts. If you are asking me, it really must be important. I am sorry, but I really cannot focus at the moment."

This answer usually always works. The reasons for evading the answers are many. But mostly...

Chances are she might select a gift that someone else gave you and she will test you. If you say it is from her on a particular day/date, she will be pissed that you don't remember exactly what she gave you. If on the other hand you say it was from someone else, she will start doubting it was from some other girl, even if your grandfather gave it to you!

Either way, you are going to lose. So why risk at all?

Obviously there are countless circumstances and countless suggestions. However, these five above are life savers and let the list expand on every Saturday to come.

Friday, November 07, 2003

Back To Future

Following the advice of security incharge, I decided that even playing in the room would be out of question. Therefore walk up to the hotel receptionist and ask her if she could throw a wonderful dinner for ten people in the hotel restaurant?

She felt I was drinking too much or probably out of my mind or both.

Sir, it is two o' clock in the morning and restaurant staff is not around she said matter of factly.

I know, but can you make it happen? I eye her while taking out my wallet and then after fumbling for a while put it back in.

Make it happen, she did! Though, the food was brought from somewhere and even the remaining night staff at the hotel turned into overnight waiters.

Before I retired for bed, I took one last glance at the bodyguards [security] and the sex goddesses enjoying the dinner while having fun.

Luke, Gary, Raymond and others might be playing with their women in their rooms and here I am drinking Heineken in my room. Oh Holy Lord, please deliver instant impotency to them!

In the morning, everyone found me drinking beer in hotel restaurant.

You welly funny. We go you room, you not there chimed Gary the Taiwanese owner of the Mainland China factory.

Smiling at him, I wanted to shout "You punctuality bastard, you have formed a habit of opening the doors to my room whenever you like, haven't you?", but just greeted him instead.

Anyway, off to the factory and then collect our sample. The sample is precious and perhaps the latest revolution in surveillance technology. What it is and what it is capable to do, cannot be announced yet. Suffice to say that next year, most countries around the world will think how could they live without it.

Finally, we are escorted to Hong Kong borders. By Gary and Luke and yes at a distance by the security team. The most critical part of security team's job is to ensure that we cross over with the sample and our lives intact.

The danger is not from Gary or Luke but their rivals and countless people who might want to override every rule in the book of ethics and make it big time via stealing.

While crossing the immigration at Hong Kong, the immigration official smilingly comments You go to China a lot. Women? Next time get a new passport, your passport is full and we can hardly chop.

I smile at him and say "Yes, women".

Back home and the whole family is delighted. Have a wonderful dinner and then read all the blogs and the interesting things happening in Hong Kong.

You haven't used these... says my wife in genuine surprise as she holds the packs of condoms she fished out of my luggage.

Yes I haven't honey. And why should I? I don't need them. I need you.

Sex Goddess

That the girls were sexy and gorgeous would simply be understatment. They were sex goddesses! Enchanting yet controlled, seductive yet sophisticated. In fact, no depth of vocabulary could adequately describe the scene.

Luke decided that the evening should be rather unusual and at the same time introduce the new entertainment trend in China [amongst wealthy sickly male].

A huge room, rather a mini hall, lined and decorated with relaxing couches that could easily pass for beds. A fountain in the middle of the room [!?!] .

Just girls. Dancing around the fountain to some very traditional, albeit, pleasant music to ears.

Their graceful and mesmerizing movements were simply enhanced by their transparent dress. And the absence of any underwear gave the place an effect of a paradise where even gods might want to take it out and wank.

You can only watch them. You cannot touch them unless you are ready to select a few for the night announced Luke, the proud host of the venue and the Mainland China partner of the factory.

It is something like a Geisha in Japan he added.

"Select a few!"? you sly pimp. I will select them all! Said I with my eyes lusting like a wolf who has just acquired a whole new pack of female. Probably Luke could not understand the meaning of English word pimp, or else, I wouldn't have gotten out alive.

Nonetheless, the feast of women, reassured my resolve that even in my next life I want to be born a man.

Selecting all of them wouldn't have been humanly possible. Immaterial of any abilities, I could be no match for almost thirty in a single night. And unlike the previous encounters where girls just lined up in a queue waiting to be appreciated, these girls didn't give a damn whether you observed them or not. They just did their gig, the way they had been trained.

Thirty five minutes and I felt as hot as molten lava. Luke kept looking at me, rather than the girls. Not that he belongs to a gang of homosexuals. But as a host, he had to judge his guest's reaction and appreciation of his offerings.

His constant observance and judgements about me were the only reasons that I did not rip off my clothes and jump in the dancing crowd. But finally, beyond any tolerance, I hurriedly selected three. In fact any three could have done. It was that tough a decision.

Perhaps, I might have lacked motherly love during infancy. Whatever! The nourishment by grapes being put in my mouth, the tender kisses sending electrical discharge through my nervous system and the occassional hugs and caress were enough for me to announce that we must all retire to our hotel room.

At this stage, I must warn every newcomer to either China or Hong Kong. Your host might introduce you to girls. But remember that in Chinese tradition [or rather superstition], your host will never pay for the girls.

You will have to pay them yourself. Everything else will be paid by for you. Not the girls. Never! This because, there is a belief that if they treat you to a girl or women by paying for you, bad luck must inevitably befall them.

So do not go overboard and select thirty. Or in the morning, thirty will obediently line up and ask you for Renminbi 800 each [approximately 100 US dollars].

Taking my three into the hotel lobby, I notice the bodyguard [security] incharge and his companions. The incharge motions me to the hotel lobby toilet by eye signals. I kiss the three on their cheeks, ask them to wait, and follow him to the toilet.

Once inside, he hissingly says...

Don't sleep with them. In fact, don't even think of bathing with them. Just let them go. Or else, you will wake up [or may be not], with your passport gone, probably your organs gone as well and the specifications and sample you have come for will go to some other distributor while your corporation will still have to honor the agreement and pay them in full.

And then he gives me a look as if I were already dead!

"Aren't you a party pooper baby"? I exclaim, but then eventually sigh.

Take them to your room and play with them for a while. We will be outside your door. Just shout you are "tired" if you think anything is abnormal or not OK and we will rush in. If nothing goes wrong, let them leave after one hour when everyone else is playing in their rooms says the incharge as if he were training a baby how to pee!

Like a hapless baby whose most precious belonging has just been snatched, I give him a long forlorn look but then remember the saying:

When the dick starts moving, the brain stops thinking.

And his brains were thinking while my dick was moving, so, what the hell!

I assure him with a nod and say OK. After which he starts inspecting my dick...

What is this with men? Why do we have to be so conscious about our little brothers or johnsons? Why do we always end up in pissing contests, especially, in public urinals?

Thursday, November 06, 2003

Out Of Body

History really has a habit of repeating itself and therefore I see Gary, Luke, and Raymond standing at the foot of my bed for the second time in a Dongguan hotel.

We had to ask the hotel manager to open your door again. It is late afternoon. Sighed Raymond, my Hong Kong business partner.

OK, where in the hell are the guards? Thought I, while focusing on the trio as if they were three snakes.

Dressing up I harbor feelings that my soul and mind must have left me for good. Nonetheless, join the trio in the hotel restaurant and after a good breakfast we all drive off to another subsidiary of Gary; somewhere far off in Dongguan.

For those of you who are unaware, Dongguan is a pretty large city. In fact ten or more times the size of Hong Kong. So beware if someone says let us go to a place which is very nearby. Their "nearby" means couple of hours ride!

Statistically, Dongguan is also the largest manufacturing base at the mouth of Pearl River Delta, where more than 10,000 high tech manufacturers cater to the technology industry from research, development, parts and components, to finished products. And the fierce competition is also one of the prime reasons for security and guards.

Our visionary [a borrowed term] Chief Executive's ideas of setting up Cyberport in Hong Kong are thus only laughable in comparison. These ludicrous plans and ideas will only cease when his title is changed back to Governor.

Anyway, I inspect parts of Fast Speed Dome and look forward to a great evening with girls as promised by Luke :-)

Wednesday, November 05, 2003

Three Snakes Wine

Spent the remaining afternoon discussing business; and since the discussions were dragging, Luke, the Mainland Chinese partner of Gary proposed that we have dinner at the factory office.

"Are we going to join the employee's communal bowl?" I asked.

"No, no, we will order food from a great restaurant that cooks local Dongguan cuisine," replied Luke.

As promised, the food really looked delicious. However, it was not the food I had my attention on, but a bottle that Gary placed on the table - Three Snakes Wine - Alc. vol. 60%:

Three Snakes Wine

"This is for you," announced Gary. "You must drink the entire bottle tonight," he added. The concerned bottle was 2500 milliliters or 2.5 liters.

"Welly good, welly good," Gary encouraged me with a thumbs-up sign as he himself got a can of Kingway light beer [Alc. vol. 3.7%]. The sly bastard!

"Geng pei, geng pei (which means bottoms-up in Mandarin Chinese)," Gary roared and we both finished the first round, bottoms-up!

After six such "Geng pei," a thought occurred to me - Did they remove the poison before they put the snakes in? One of them was from the family of killer Cobras! And two were poisonous while one was not.

"No they were put in alive," came the resounding answer from Luke, the Mainland China partner.

Holy Breakdancin' Angels! What could have tempted me to be so stupid?

Seeing me almost freaked out, Luke reassured me that alcohol above 40% breaks poison and converts it to protein, and Three Snakes Wine was 60%, therefore I shouldn't worry.

Could I trust him? Well, I didn't have a choice. And I felt that this was one time when my body really needed protection! Though I must admit that Three Snakes Wine tastes extremely good. Quiet smooth and a little bit sweet!

By the way, the bottle was full up to the brim before yours truly took these pictures. Whatever is missing in the bottle was in my system when I focused the lenses. Not bad, I guess.

"A man died," said Luke, "when one such wine vendor failed to fill the bottle to the brim after putting poisonous snakes in the wine. The snakes survived because of some air and cork leakage, and when the idiot opened the bottle, they stung him with all their venom."

I forced a very amused smile as I probed the snakes with my chopsticks and verified that they were indeed dead. Well, here are some more pictures:

Hungry Snakes

And here:

Pull'em Out

Could they be forcing me to drink such nasty stuff so that I would blurt out all my sensitive business plans? Well, the snakes might have some insights into that, I guess. 

Anyway, by the time I had finished the bottle, I felt like I could myself single-handedly catch the elusive crocodile!

Re-edited on Sunday, Nov 09, 2003

Western Influence

The road to Dongguan is full of ads like this:

Shenzhen

Not even a single Asian face:

Shenzhen

Westernization of Pearl River Delta!

Note: Admittedly the quality of pictures stink. But at that speed and pollution, this is all I could manage.

Shenzhen

Shenzhen is just like Hong Kong:

Shenzhen

But their driving sense isn't:

Danger

The red sign at the top of the picture requests that people do not speed out of safety concerns. But most drivers are illiterate and/or color blind.

Tuesday, November 04, 2003

A Marked Difference

Regular readers will remember why dining in a VIP room is a must for entrepreneurs; while in China.

The girls are more attractive, sexy, the service is excellent and yes, it does cost comparatively more.

Similarly, there are marked differences between Shenzhen and Dongguan. Or for that matter, any two places in China. Shenzhen restaurants tend more to be like Hong Kong. In fact, Shenzhen is a lot like Hong Kong.

Therefore, I insist that instead of a VIP room, today, I am in a mood to sit in a VIP hall.

This means a lot of things. First of all, it means that the hall will have four or six tables. The girls will be equally attractive, however, groping and playing is out of question.

This also means that bodyguards will occupy adjacent tables or otherwise... how could they enter private VIP rooms and watch you?

Gary, the Taiwanese factory owner, will never realize that those sitting on adjacent tables are in fact our bodyguards.

The bodyguards are all prepaid and so are all their expenses. The synchronicity of going in and out of all places will be done by visual signals. And the security firm spends a lot of time training those.

The place selected by me is very comfortable. The service quite good and we have small talk over down to earth Chinese cuisine.

Sexy and gorgeous girls walk in and out. Serving their best. But today, I am in a different mood.

Later on, all of us end up in a well known Shenzhen bar with disco. Dance in front of strangers? I never will. But upon observing the crowd, the change in the social trend is pretty obvious.

Thirty to forty five year old women from Hong Kong have ganged in pervert costumes befitting teenagers. Dancing in scarecrowish figures they pack the place.

It would make no difference whether the bar/disco was in Shenzhen or Hong Kong. Women, whose husbands are either away or have long deserted them, tend to "enjoy" their new found youth aided by drugs like ecstasy.

These, alongside their diet pills are sure prescriptions for lobotomy!

Gary, the Taiwanese owner of factory, is especially interested in them. But dishearten him by announcing that I am too tired and therefore must return to the hotel. I never indulge with people who lack self control.

And guarded like Fort Knox, sleep soundly until the next morning.

Secure

Every time when I leave for business, everyone in the family becomes very emotional. This could be the last time they ever see me [alive].

Security arrangements with private security firm will ensure that I return to my wife and kids without million dollar ransom for my head. Five body guards in two cars will follow where ever we go.

This isn't self-importance. This is wisdom and a growing trend amongst Hong Kong entrepreneurs.

In a country where patents and copyrights are nothing but mockery, the stakes are always high. Especially within high tech manufacturing sectors.

We struggle with our luggage and cross over to Shenzhen. Almost everyone is supposed to wait in the open car park.

As if we are refugees from Vietnam, Gary, the Taiwanese owner of the factory announces:

We eat dinner after we go bar after we go disco after we go karaoke. Tomorrow we go Dongguan.

No, we go hotel, we go dinner, we go bar, we go disco, we go hotel. Yes, tomorrow we go Dongguan. I try to encourage his English by speaking in his accent. Lord, I hate his digital translation dictionary!

It takes him two minutes to realize that we go everywhere excepting karaoke.

Welly good, welly good saying which Gary offers me a sweet Indonesian cigarette.

It does taste sweet and odd and therefore, I advise the puke vulnerable Raymond, my Hong Kong business partner, to avoid it.

I receive SMS message from Hong Kong informing me the license plates of security firm's cars.

A casual glance around the car park... I find them parked close to us. Three in one car, two in another. As if on a cue, all five alight and light their cigarettes.

After I have memorized their faces, all five of them put on black shades [sun glasses].

Their strategy is that two of them will watch Raymond and myself. Remaining three will watch those two and us. All of them will watch everyone around us and I will watch them. Weird? Yes!

Gary's driver is also his bodyguard:

Bodyguard

And therefore, now six people will ensure that nothing goes wrong!

Monday, November 03, 2003

Gullible Frisson

The day started like any other. Kids at school, birds chirping in the garden, pets roaming around as if hunting for prey, and maids expeditiously handling their chores.

The only difference was my wife was home.

Honey, I will help you pack your luggage. Did you sleep well? saying which she comes over and hugs me.

When women are being extremely polite and nice to you, it must only mean they are setting a trap for you.

But I am leaving [for China] tomorrow and not today.

I don't want you to look scruffy and again she gives the same polite and nice smile.

Rush to a lunch meeting with some prospects and on the way pick up the puke vulnerable Raymond, my Hong Kong business partner.

Eastern traditions are really a world apart.

And so, if you end up in a meeting with the Chinese [these were Hong Kong entrepreneurs we were meeting], be very observant and listen to exactly what they say, when they say.

The Eastern traditions aren't as straight forward as Westerners expect. Which is one reason why people new to this region get all the wrong messages and hints.

The clues of what is on their minds, generally comes from the table arrangement, where you are advised to be seated, who else is joining, and where they will be seated.

Another distinct difference is that they will never ask you direct questions. Almost always, the topic will be related to some vague or bleary references that indirectly tie into your deal.

It is up to you then, if you are the one selling, to correctly infer, understand, and reply the query.

Why would this be the case? Well, I don't have a link on the extensive research done on this issue by a Japanese scholar. But the study was perfect.

The tradition, it seems, evolves from judging how crooked or honest you are. And by default, almost everyone in the East is raised under this tradition.

Japan, I must add, is the most complex of all and we had to wind up our office there as the ratio of effort vs. profitability just didn't add up.

So after the "You judge me, I judge you" game and some down to earth Chinese cuisine, leave the meeting by deliberately avoiding the proposal for the moment.

Visit the office and as usual Phyllis, my voluptuous secretary, with all her professional skills takes just 15 minutes of my time to brief, report, and sign all the outstanding.

Tomorrow, I am going to China. I inform her.

And she hands me over a slim yet bulging file of documents, inside which I find a pack of condoms.

The look in her eyes warns me that she has already crossed over to the stage of being possessive. That, is one unmistakable characteristic of women. Soon emotions will follow and perhaps, one day, she will cry on my shoulders about how the cruel world separates us by monogamy.

Immediately walk over to my desk and lock the condoms in a drawer while handing her the office keys. I don't think I need that. I remark. And after a deeply affectionate hug leave her as well as the office.

No one can better manage your life like women!

Return home and play with kids while listening to music by Cass Phang

As my sleeping habits are unusual, just before going to bed, my wife sets the alarms.

Could you check if there is anything missing in your luggage?

Well, I do check and, neatly placed in the passport on top of the luggage are two packs of condoms! Exactly six of them.

How could two women do the same thing on the same day? Could they be reading my diary?

Is there anything missing? asks my wife again.

Nothing Honey and thanks. I reply with extreme frisson.

Saturday, November 01, 2003

Fuzzy Cocktails

Having access to some very special liquor from China, it is but easy to create odd cocktails.

I have never given up the opportunity to be the bartender plus DJ at my own house parties. It is tricky, though fun.

You don't really want the women to get very drunk. Just