See Lai

Meditation

Love is an inhibition, not an emotion

Final Option

Continued from here...

In wake of frantic behavior exhibited by Phyllis, I started sorting out the options available to me.

Scientists can exhilarate all they want about the claim that nothing is faster than the speed of light. Obviously they have discounted the speed of human brains or at least the speed that my brain reacts...

Either I could struggle with her seat belt with one hand and stop her from jumping [which of course was a hollow but perilous threat].

Or I could stop the car in the emergency lane and benefit passers-by with a spectacular scene of a Gweilo arguing with a Chinese woman on the most frequented expressway in Guangdong province.

The alternative of fakery via the only required statement that I love her was sure to doom the remaining years of my life. Wise men never tell any women that they love her. Not if they want to live the rest of their life in peace and dignity. Any arguments with this inference can only mean a serious lack of experience.

What is love? Everyone asks this question during one stage or another of their life. I will leave my opinions about the answer for some later post.

Anyway, it was evident that the only option available for me was to do something different. And within two seconds of Phyllis's ballyhoo, I pressed down hard on the accelerator while zigzagging along all three lanes.

C'mon baby, let us join the Romeo and Juliet Rave Party. You want to jump off and die, right? Let us both die the amatory death

Missing each container or soviet era truck by two feet in different lanes at 180 Km. per hour, Phyllis sat with eyes aghast as she was more than convinced that I had finally lost it for good.

The vehicle in concern? BMW 745. Always reliable when your life depends on it.

Ten minutes of horrendous driving that would make A. Senna [Ayrton Senna da Silva] wake up from his grave, it was evident that Phyllis was subdued. Her hand loosely hanging on the unbuckled seat belt, perspiration on her eyebrows, and her eyes perhaps transfixed on her imaginary grave was enough confirmation that it was time for Back To Future Part - II.

Screeching to a halt on the emergency lane, I slowly got out, moved over to her door and opened it wide for her to step down. Standing perplexed near the car she was dumbfounded when I barked back just three options:

1) Either you walk back to Hong Kong and never again appear in my life to play with me. I am way too old for Romeo and Juliet drama.

2) Or you sit back in the car in the capacity of my secretary and let us go to the factory as it is my fucking face on the line. You and I could be interrogated by passing police for creating scenes and dangerous driving and I don't want to lose my future and destiny just cuz you freakin' think you love me.

3) When you had fun with me, you had boyfriends as well. If you [had] have multiple partners before you get married, that does not make you any better than those who flirt after marriage as the days for virgins and arranged marriages are long gone baby. So cut the fucking self hypnotized true-love crap and lose yourself. OK?

After two minutes of silence, following which quietly walking back to the car Phyllis buckled her seatbelt was proof enough that she selected option 2.

Note:

Those of you who know who Phyllis, including how she looks, must think I was extremely cruel. I offer no apologies.

Meditation

Buddha left his loved ones twice because they were bitchy

Daily Circus - Part 10

New Year Day in Hong Kong will begin with almost 20,000 participants parading in We Are The World mania chanting 2003 remix versions of [blunder head's] Ten Commandments and zero tolerance during clean-up drive will begin today:

"There will also be strict enforcement of regulations requiring the removal from public places of articles that cause obstruction."

Amidst all the [aforementioned] cackle, there are cautious reminders by Basic Law drafter Raymond Wu:

"Certain groups want to use this as an excuse to create another wave of public discontent, I say, go ahead and try, and we will wait and see."

However, despite all adversities, residency in Hong Kong remains a major attraction not just for the Right of Abode seekers but for Green Turtles as well. And realizing that it is better late than never, SARS virus seems to have decided upon its [probable] return [in the mainland].

While kids might get excited by this news in anticipation of extra [SARS] vacations [like previous year], we believe that these people must control their excitement via over indulgence through drinking as only after a couple of drinks the mind sobers up and one finally accepts that the real estate boom is really over.

Unaffected by all of these, Clint Eastwood fan Lama Khyimsar Rinpoche offers solace with his stance:

Where Yungdrung Bon [teaching] differs from traditional Buddhism is that followers are urged to develop "indiscriminate love and compassion".

Our editor is apprehensively delighted that at least there is someone who understands our editor's indiscriminate love and compassion towards sentient women beings.

Perhaps, this will also help clear the misconception amongst people that our editor is not a hedonistic debauchee since Shakyamuni Buddha says so!

Credits:

All news links via The Standard who still have the courtesy to post free online news as opposed to it's outdated competition.

Relationship

That the drive to Dongguan would be challenging was expected. The shopping spree was not.

Raymond [my Hong Kong business partner] had already crossed over in his brother's car [also dual plates but a different factory] leaving me with the arduous drive with Phyllis.

Already irritated by her teenager like behavior while crossing the Hong Kong border and dumb questions like, "Can I cross the border in your car?" and "Do I also need to scan my thumb prints?" etc., terror unveiled when she announced her decision to go shopping for gifts in Shenzhen. Only dumb people shop in Shenzhen and one really has to be a man with strong feminine tendencies to be able to tolerate shopping with [most] women.

Having wasted otiose time in shopping, that too with someone who claims to love you [Really? If so, give me a break!], was almost getting to the limits that my fragile nerves could endure.

Men don't shop like that. They just go to a nearest department store, grab something expensive and give it to whoever needs to be pleased.

Here you go. This is for you... End of story.

After what seemed like eternity and as soon as we crossed over the Shenzhen/Dongguan border checkpoint without a need for any further clearance [yes the second one], she relaxed and tucked her papers away in her fancy handbag. I wished she went to sleep just then!

But the heavens weren't exactly smiling upon me as no sooner did we hit the Guangshen expressway she started:

I want to talk about relationships. Especially, our relationship...

Holy Virgin Mary waiting to be laid eternally! Why me and why now?

James told me that you fixed the corporate lucky draw so that we could be together. Which is why I did not accompany him on the vacation. Saying which, she looked at me with steely gaze [or that is what I imagined].

Ten years of imprisonment couldn't have been worse than what I was feeling in [the] one hour drive. My eyes kept darting and scouting for any distractions and in a lame attempt, I pointed at a site and exclaimed:

Look at the American, Chinese, and Malaysian flags on that site. Sure looks like a joint venture to me. What do you think?

But all attempts were in vain as unbuckling her seat belt, Phyllis almost barked at me:

Ron, you tell me this moment whether you love me or not. Otherwise I will jump from the [moving] car

What can I say? Life sucks!

Moral:

You can't drive with a angry woman trying to blackmail you when you fight for all sorts of controls [including your mental ones] at 160 Km. per hour on a bumpy Chinese expressway.

The Differential Equation

Crossing the border and driving into Shenzhen, Phyllis insisted upon buying gifts for Mr. Wong [Mainland Chinese partner], and Mr. Chen [Taiwanese partner in China] as she was visiting the factory for the first time.

The irony of the situation? Mainland Chinese come to Hong Kong for their shopping whereas local [Hong Kong] people still believe they get better bargains across the border.

In 1998, during a convention jointly hosted by the Russian Federation and entrepreneurs of Khabarovsk province in Hong Kong, one of my good friends Igor [then working for the Russian Consulate in Hong Kong] remarked that within 10 years, Shenzhen and Hong Kong will be identical.

I admit that I was naive to laugh at his suggestion [at that time]. However, today his predictions have come true, that too, 5 years too soon...

If the past 5 years are any barometer, what can we possibly expect in the short to medium term [future]?

Meditation

Life might be like a soap opera, but mostly we are the bad commercials sponsoring it!

P.s.:

Slow posting today as off to the factory with Phyllis. I must drive fast with loud music. More later in the evening...

Finger Food

Small bird

Size compared with the cigarette pack. It's family members are waiting in the background [plate].

They told me the Chinese name but I don't know the English equivalent. You are supposed to hold it by its feet and then start chewing it [bones included] head first. Tastes good but chewing the feet is rather tedious.

New Horizons

She is intelligent and hardworking

Restaurant owner at Dongguan

No, not Xiao Hung and Xiao Wai...

Reception girls at Dongguan restaurant

The elephant like man to my right is the Taiwanese partner, Gary and the one on left is the Chinese partner, Luke. The one behind the camera was Raymond, the Hong Kong partner, who definitely needs to improve his focusing skills.

Picture with QC team working the late night shift

It was 11:30 PM on Christmas eve and yes we were all working. Hope on new year's eve I will be able to enjoy.

Note:

All pictures out of appreciation for the people of Dongguan who are very thrilled with the new developments in their lives.

See Lai 2004

Despite the criticisms from those who dislike blogs, I have been contemplating about the positioning of See Lai beginning 2004.

The good news is that See Lai as well as many Hong Kong blogs are easily accessible from China. Perhaps, because most are hosted on private paid sites. This means that many in China also access information which otherwise would have been hard to obtain. In fact, See Lai's readers from China contribute [almost] 23% of daily hits.

The bad news though, is that sites like NOT The South China Morning Post are totally blocked in [parts of] China most familiar to me.

NTSCMP may have been a pain in the ass for some of us, and on the same count, some of us might have been a pain in the ass for them as well. However, debate can only result out of a dialogue. Meaning there should be two sides to express opinions for a healthy discussion to take place.

Agreed that we are not famous and can easily be classified nonentities. But our [blog's] power seems to be growing. We are warmly accepted by those who want to read opinion and who feel that we care.

This, I found out by talking to a female owner of a Xinjiang restaurant in Dongguan [last night]. I was extremely surprised that she knew me because of my picture at my blog. And more surprised to hear her say that many sites I link [including NTSCMP] were inaccessible whereas [most] bloggers were accessible!

She had a good command over English for a Chinese who spoke English as a second language. And she too praised the recent developments [of livelihood and living standards] in China, alongside the Chinese government.

Nonetheless, she felt that the opinion of many [Hong Kong] blogs provided people like her with food for thought and to a certain extent... also understand the world stage. Being an entrepreneur, she directly linked this with the WTO entry of China.

Leaving the place, I kept brooding about international events, news, opinion, sites, and blogs.

That the recent meetings with Japanese and our [factory] dealings with Canada have also added to a unique perspective about trade and politics, leaves me even more confused about how one could relay acceptable yet balanced opinion about all happenings that concern all [of us out here].

As a result, I am contemplating about changing the content style of this blog [See Lai] further to the design that has already changed.

While I will still keep the daily columns as in daily circus, meditation, women, etc., during 2004, I intend to gear See Lai towards a role that indulges in [fair] trade and policies [politics] without outright attack towards any country or anyone.

Yes, the resolution sounds very ideal but whether I can practically deliver, only time can tell. That is, if I am not blocked before that.

Until then, enjoy your holidays and cheers!

Sex Quota

Driving back from Dongguan, Raymond, my Hong Kong business partner remarks that on an average [most] men can only have sex for about 7,000 times in their life.

The car almost skids as I jump on the brakes at 120 Km. per hour.

Fishing out the black notebook I always carry where I mark down the number of times I have had sex with women, towering waves of depression engulf me... For there on the last page the total stands at:

6,998

Merry Christmas To Everyone

That's it folks, I am not going to send any Christmas e-cards as that is cumbersome. But my heart wishes for you all and let there be fun.

Cheers!

Daily Circus - Part 9

E Coli and Dengue fever have both arrived to enjoy Christmas in Hong Kong, while Guangdong authorities have also decided to send over millions of the province's residents, perhaps to visit these new superstars in Fever Fest.

And of course, millions of Mainland tourists will bring trillions of dollars, and therefore, Hong Kong will soon be very very rich!

But some of these Mainland tourists dislike this idea and are very keen on taking their investments back:

Police yesterday arrested four mainlanders and are looking for a fifth after three women and two children were robbed outside a Tsim Sha Tsui shopping centre in the heart of Hong Kong's tourist belt.

In other news, local democrats managed to get 587 votes people to inform Beijing not to interfere and have launched a green paper aimed at stimulating public discussion on political reform.

While this move might be very welcome by many in the local community, it seems that the oddly named supermarket chain Wellcome's pork isn't:

The Wellcome supermarket in Sha Tin could lose its retail licence if it is convicted of passing off frozen pork as fresh.

Finally, we were startled to see the headline(s) - Councils call for women and Japanese are bullish, but not on investments. However, our fears subsided upon reading that they were just talking about appointing women in district councils, and Japanese being positive about business environment in Hong Kong respectively.

Credits:

All news links via The Standard who still have the courtesy to post free online news as opposed to it's outdated competition.

Meditation

Buddha was extremely intolerant, which is why he strived for eternal liberation [from everything and everyone]

P.s.: Reminds us of our new acquaintance

From Kaila...

I Love Cheongsaam. Don't You?

Left click on the picture to see the album

Meditation

Depression is a sure sign of [emotional] maturity

Fresh From Japan

Forget China, Come Back Home

Left click on the picture to see the album

Cruel

What happens when you take couple of Japanese to a local [mainland] Chinese bar filled with intellectuals and triads?

Well, at least you can stop them talking in Japanese and force them to talk in English. Their interpreter sits bored and they avoid [looking at or being near] any woman as if they were dynamite!

But you spoil their fun by deliberately talking to them in Japanese and by all the bows and gestures of Japanese tradition.

They simply wish[ed] they were not in China and definitely out of that bar.

Well, we did take them some place else [even more interesting] to ease their concerns.

OK, maybe I am cruel.

More later... with a full account of last night's [interesting] and almost politically strained events.

Meditation

Lazy people should eat more bananas as that seems to work for monkeys

Daily Circus - Part 8

That women and wine can destroy a man was again proved yesterday when Liquor Licensing Board former chairman Stephen Wong was jailed for one year.

Unfortunately, Stepehen Wong was not as lucky as Anthony Leung to receive support from Hong Kong's most favorite ex-government official for his misconduct.

Meanwhile, unconfirmed reports suggest that Leung was again seen lurking in Lexus showrooms to buy yet another luxury car before the upcoming March budget...

In other news, a massive search is being extended for a third day in order to find the lovesick cop

We at See Lai are very pleased to see today's news centered around our favorite topic - women.

Women are beautiful but the new Hong Kong currency is not. Which is why some people have now decided to print their own currency!

But those who can't print their own should also feel happy as jobless rate improves to pre-Sars level of 7.5pc due to the mercy showered upon us by Mainland Tourists:

With the influx of Chinese tourists, especially higher-spending visitors from Beijing and Shanghai, companies are more confident in hiring.

Finally, if you are fed up of Mainland Tourists and decide to leave Hong Kong, make sure you are not stranded.

Credits:

All news links via The Standard who still have the courtesy to post free online news as opposed to it's outdated competition.

Bye Bye Spammy...

Or so it seems as N.Y. Attorney General Prepares To File Lawsuits Against Spammers.

Hopefully, now we will be able to read our email in peace without the unwelcome annoyance.

Sex In China

That the Japanese stand out with regards to their unusual sexual behavior is well known. But now it seems they will be standing in courts too:

Chinese authorities have issued arrest warrants for three Japanese accused of organizing the sex party, the government's Xinhua News Agency said on its Web site Wednesday.

I have repeatedly warned everyone that sex with a prostitute or even someone who is not your legal wife could be very dangerous in China. Besides, it is illegal in China.

Nonetheless, people on business tours to China often find that [naughty] masseurs, escorts, prostitutes, etc. are part of the business negotiations and considered as normal as drinks and dinner.

But what the Japanese did was way beyond normal:

According to news reports, about 400 Japanese men and as many as 500 Chinese hostesses had sex at a Zhuhai hotel over a three-day period that ended on Sept. 18. That was the anniversary of a Japanese attack on a city in China's northeast in 1931 that many Chinese regard as the start of Japan's World War II invasion and occupation.

In my opinion, the Chinese authorities deserve an applause for the convictions and extraditions.

Until this day, the Japanese have not apologized for their atrocities in China as well as their inhuman treatment and slaughter of people whose women they took for "comfort women". Furthermore, selecting a day for high profile orgy that starkly coincides with Japan's occupation of China during World War II was nothing but sheer mockery of China.

Prostitutes are women too. And women are mothers to mankind.

If someone cannot appreciate women for their existence and then go ahead and stage massive orgies, alongside insulting a country, then they deserve nothing but hell. In this aspect, I am afraid that the Chinese prison system will be too lenient for the Pelados [Old-Spanish foul language] concerned.

Finally, if one is not familiar with China, then one must avoid sex in China at any cost. If your business associate arranges a hostess and hotel room for you, the wisest thing would be to pay your hostess and ask her to leave. And of course, respect women. No woman becomes a prostitute just for fun.

Anyway, spending more than 5 minutes in your hotel room instead of paying and asking her to leave could raise the probability that you most certainly will have the chance to meet the [above] convicted and extradited Japanese in person.

And if you cannot understand or speak Mandarin, don't even think about entering the hotel room with a woman immaterial of the trust you have in your associates.

A hotel bell boy or manager looking for a fast buck could easily extend your stay in China [behind bars]. Perhaps Muzimei fans might want to calm down?

Credits:

Link via Phil at Flying Chair

Meditation

You know you are an idiot when a woman tells you that you are smart.

Daily Circus - Part 7

I will be back. Eerily sounding like Terminator, SARS [Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome] seems to be returning.

In case SARS cannot get through Hong Kong immigration, plans are in place to ensure that it does arrive so that Hong Kong can once again enjoy free publicity as the largest regional exporter all around the world:

Even though the Taiwanese scientist spent four days in Singapore, Lam said travellers arriving from the Lion City would not be given the same scrutiny.

Bravo, bravo, are we [really] having fun yet?

And why should SARS be singled out for sneaking into Hong Kong when even explosives can? Shouldn't you appreciate that we are already preoccupied in our task of preventing uncouth abode seekers from entering Hong Kong?

In other news, while Secretary for Health, Welfare and Food Yeoh Eng-kiong is adamant that:

he will not allow any private hospital to go bankrupt because of higher payouts on employees' insurance policies.

We cannot help but laugh while reading this:

Albert Chui, head of the liver transplant centre at the Prince of Wales Hospital, claimed he had been sidelined after the centre was closed. His contract expires next July. He said he was unable to perform even one liver transplant because there were no staff to assist. "Before, there was a liver transplant team. Now I am the only one left in the team. No one helps me. This is a waste of public money and a closed-door operation. It seems that some people made this decision in their own interests."

Forget private hospitals Yeoh, and first care for the public hospitals before more people die.

We at See Lai have long advocated that the peg must end but then how could cartels minority people service their burdens if that was so?

And the other repetitive news that mainland travellers and CEPA [sounds like a mountain tribe lady's name] will help raise our exports to HK$1.8 trillion, leaves us scratching our heads?!?

CEPA maybe, but we have difficulty understanding how lifting the restrictions on mainland travellers will help our exports? Are we drinking too much or are they?

Leung said the economy, especially retailing, had surged after the relaxation of restrictions on individual mainland travellers in July.

Agreed that they are talking in a different context as in overall GDP but our opposition is against using the catch words like "mainland travellers" or "mainland tourists".

It isn't like without the "mainland travellers and tourists" we the Hong Kong people are sitting with begging bowls at the mercy of mainland. Regardless of the fact that our Laputan leader cannot miss any opportunity to appease those up North whether they want to be appeased or not.

When did they say the neuro-surgeon was arriving?

Credits:

All news links via The Standard who still have the courtesy to post free online news as opposed to it's outdated competition.

Tsunami Women

Phyllis discreetly sat aloof and finished the morning briefings without a single joke or a smile.

"Are you still planning to accompany James"? I inquired in a quavering voice to express my [supposed] dislike of the recent happenings.

"Yes I am". She boldly looked into my eyes with a scornful expression befitting someone about to blow the world apart.

"You are traveling with your family to visit your parents as well!", she reminded me as if I were someone suffering from constant amnesia.

"No, I have canceled our trip and now my parents will be visiting us instead. I am too tied up with the factory at the moment to leave this area", saying which I gave her a very calm and consolate stare. "And please remember to cancel our tickets before Monday", I added.

It was hardly any wonder to see her body go limp while she drew a deep gasp and like the sudden change of course of a unpredictable tsunami, her anger gave way to tears that formed in her eyes. Yes, a woman's moods are that sudden and unpredictable.

Not wanting to look at her cry, since I cannot stand women crying in front of me, I stupidly started fumbling in the drawers for something which didn't exist.

"No, I do not want to accompany James. In fact, I don't want to go anywhere" said a sobbing Phyllis in her [3 minutes later] contradictory statement.

Without looking up, I waved my hands towards the door leading out of my office chambers in a gesture for her to leave.

Daily Circus - Part 6

That you need to dump your extra fuel if the load is too heavy and then aim for ILS or holding pattern is what all commercial pilots are aware of. But the need for passengers to maintain a state of equilibrium to stop the newly deployed West Rail trains from shaking came as a bit of surprise for us.

Assistant Commissioner of the Transport Department Peter Luk said he believed the service of West Rail would improve:

"We are aware that some passengers saying the trains are shaking. I think the problem could be solved when more passengers are on the train, which would produce a balanced weight".

OK folks, mind the closing doors... now half to your left, half to your right and remaining in the middle

Remaining?

We sympathize with Secretary for Justice Elsie Leung, who during her tenure has tried her level best to curb public disdain for [what they believe] preferential treatment of high profile cases. However, we feel peeved by Democrat Martin Lee, SC, who either is not listening or worst, not reading our opinion at See Lai. How else could he exhibit sheer imbecility by such criticism:

Democrat Martin Lee, SC, asked how the experts came to the assumption that Leung's failure to declare his purchase in the Exco was merely to save himself from being embarrassed. "The two experts took a point in favour of the defendant which his own lawyer had failed to point out. He [Leung] didn't raise the point about the fear of embarrassment. "I have practised law for 37 years and I have never come across a prosecutor who was so generous to assume a point which even the defendant did not advance''.

You have been sleeping for 37 years Mr. lee, which is why you are on the wrong side of the fence and without a Lexus.

But... here comes a ray of hope to correct any [mental] deficiencies anyone involved might be suffering from.

Of course, funding for such top surgeon is not a problem as CUHK has perfect plans to balance the budget.

And rightly so. With all Karaoke, massage parlors, punk-ish orange hair dressing parlors, night clubs, and mainland prostitutes who needs teachers? Aren't these newfound institutions more practical in teaching our children how to shag off their lives?

On second thoughts, inviting neurosurgeons to Hong Kong may not be a bad idea after all.

The only person in whom we still have some faith, provided a preview of his fiscal plans. Simon has covered this nicely, so just view his comments about this.

And yes, the property clowns are back and changelings galore!

Credits:

All news links via The Standard who still have the courtesy to post free online news as opposed to it's outdated competition.

P.s.: These days I am late with Daily Circus as I am stressed between Hong Kong and Dongguan. Will be early starting tomorrow. Anyway, please accept my sincere apologies. Thanks.

Sexy Kaila

Left click on the picture to see the album

Daily Circus - Part 5

"We did not take coward's way out" says Director of Public Prosecutions, Grenville Cross. Meanwhile, Queen's Counsel Martin Wilson has this to say:

"Although the non-disclosure [of the purchase in Exco] was misconduct, it did not amount to the serious misconduct which must, in law, be established before a prosecution for the offence of misconduct in public office could be instituted".

Unable to understand the simple yet profound logic above, how could Democratic Party barrister-legislator Margaret Ng and democrat Martin Lee, SC, still drag on?

He [Lee] pointed out it was unreasonable to assume Leung failed to declare his car purchase in the Executive Council because he wanted to save himself from being embarrassed. "Leung never cited this reason about embarrassment for failing to declare in the Exco, nor did his lawyer"' Lee said. "I don't know how the two experts arrived at this assumption. I've never seen a prosecutor help defend the defendant."

Oh dear Mr. Lee... it is all about face and therefore in our opinion embarrassment is indeed a valid argument. By the way correct us if we are naive to believe that it is not just Leung's face in consideration. Thank you very very much.

Despite being Chinese yet unable to comprehend the "important tradition about face", both Lee and Ng persist:

However, Lee said Leung's behaviour in the Exco could be supportive evidence to show he was guilty-minded. "There is sufficient evidence to go to the jury and they could actually convict on that evidence," he said. Ng echoed Lee's views, saying when Griffiths said there was a prima facie case based on the inference, she could not see on what basis the experts concluded there would not be the prospect of a conviction.

Mr. Lee, during 6 years since 1997, you have done nothing but attack and complain [Shut up!]

Meanwhile anxious and uncertain about [un-favorable] judgment(s), officer leaps to his death 15 minutes before his appearance in court for... er, misconduct!

In other repetitive news, mainland tourists will bring 59 billion equivalent of Hong Kong dollars next year so all of us will get the chance to race our new Lexus along the Old Peak road while eating live chicken off the dashboard.

And should we catch bird flu or suffer serious car crash injuries then we must simply plunge to our death from the cliffs of the peak as medical services won't be around for much longer.

That is all from Asia's World Suicide City.

Credits:

All news links via The Standard who still have the courtesy to post free online news as opposed to it's outdated competition.

Anthony Leung Innocent

Leung's car tax case dropped

The Department of Justice has dropped the case against former financial secretary Antony Leung for buying a luxury car just weeks before he announced tax increases on new vehicles. Director of Public Prosecutions Grenville Cross said he came to the decision after full consideration of the evidence, the law and the opinions given by two independent counsel. A reasonable prospect of securing a conviction in this case simply did not exist, he said.

The Bar Association may be convinced, but it will take a lot to convince the people.

Should this increase the number of people rallying on New Year's day?

Credits:

News link via The Standard

Daily Circus - Part 4

"The past six years of closed-mind thinking and poor standard of governance has landed the SAR in a perpetual state of crisis"

...says barrister-legislator Margaret Ng with regards to reform debate.

Hooray to reform debate, but we believe that the perpetual state of crisis for we-are-the-world-action-heroes of SARS is more pressing in wake of virus cover crisis.

However, the government has ruled out the idea that it would underwrite insurance for the medical sector, according to Secretary for Financial Services and the Treasury Frederick Ma:

"Careful consideration is necessary because it involves the use of public money and business activities"

Really? But then where was this newfound wisdom before "organizing" Harbour Fest?

Plans are already in place to control the different [colony of] virus and while the attention focuses on poultry as the most likely culprits, New Territories Chicken Breeders' Association vice-chairman Hung Yuet-kin voices out his dissatisfaction with a puzzle:

"In the US and Canada, live chickens are reappearing in the retail market''. Customers there realise that live chickens taste better than frozen ones. Why is it that when others are turning to our way of doing things, we have to pick up policies that others abandon?'"

Oh dear... how else can we buy frozen dead bodies at HK$26.50 from Park n Shop if live chicken were still ruffling around?

Fed up with all this, many believe it is time for a second dose of Thriller, which is why the scapegoat will not be allowed to quit.

Finally, we scan the newspaper in disbelief as there isn't a single major news article on property in Hong Kong! Did we at See Lai spoil their fun?

Credits:

All news links via The Standard who still have the courtesy to post free online news as opposed to it's outdated competition.

Fresh 'n' Wild

Fresh Monday Morning With Kaila Yu

Left click on the picture to see the album

Saddam Captured

This just in...

Saddam Hussein Captured Alive!

Note: Click on the above link to read the whole story.

Update:

Post updated and edited with latest picture.

Credits:

Picture source via: Yahoo! News

Understanding Women - Part II

Yat hook, Yee lau, Sam syong diu

Which translated from Cantonese Chinese to English means: First approach is crying. If that fails, the second approach is to get angry and throw tantrums. And if even that fails, the third approach is to either actually commit or threaten to commit suicide [by hanging]. These three are the general patterns of behavior as well as weapons of women which they use to attack the soft corner of men. It can be said that [most of] these three apply to all women rather than just Chinese women.

That Phyllis also displayed similar behavioral symptoms since she confessed her love, add considerable credence to this age old Chinese saying.

But then what about her sudden change last night? Was her love fake? Or was it mere infatuation?

A woman's true love is [usually] sincere and can be scarily eternal! But when all her options run out, the inborn power of her womanhood takes over and that can only mean miserable destruction of the man [concerned]. Especially if the woman feels cheated or betrayed.

Women have power, men just have authority.

Everything Phyllis did last night, only revealed extremely calculative moves by a woman who exactly knew how the effects were playing out on me. This also means that everything she did last night including hugging and kissing James as well as ignoring me for almost 5 minutes was against her real desires.

In this aspect, I feel guilty for a lot of things including the fact that James is oblivious to happenings around him. As far as he is concerned, he thinks I arranged everything between Phyllis and him because he had on more than one occasion expressed his attraction towards Phyllis.

Phyllis believes that she had one of her lucky nights where circumstances and situations were just about right to punish me as her crying, tantrums, and attempts to commit suicide failed to change my decision.

The most critical acid test of these developments will play out on Monday when I am supposed to attend some early morning meetings at my Hong Kong office. She being my executive secretary and the first to meet and brief me ensures that I will need all experience I have to handle the situation as casually as possibly can be.

Suggestions anyone?

Love Actually

The saga with Phyllis ended tonight but not without remorse...

Reader Joyce wants to know how men usually react in such situations? Well Joyce, [most] men are possessive and many end up with more than one female. Morally or socially this may be unacceptable, but this is what nature intended.

Anyway, what happened at the Annual Christmas Ball tonight was definitely not part of nature but was totally fixed.

This year the main attraction of our Annual Christmas Ball was the Mix and Match. This meant that all employees who are single [and a lot of employees who work for us are] could not bring along their partners although married employees could.

James, a handsome sales manager from London and a son of my best friend does not have any steady girlfriends and is quite attracted to Phyllis. So a simple program designed by the IT department for allocating partners and tables and then submitted to James [who also knows Visual Basic] ensured that James and Phyllis would be tonight's partners. However, at the reception to the event, everyone punched in their names and after a lot of blinking and flashing, it appeared that the seat as well as the partner was assigned randomly.

The first prize, a trip for two [those who were the mix and match partners], to exotic destination with airfares, hotel, opera, entertainment and all expenses prepaid, was neatly placed under Phyllis's seat.

After the usual party alongside Karaoke and stupid games, Phyllis deliberately held James as close as she could during the dance while throwing indicative glances at my wife and me. I too put on my best expression of jealousy, envy, and unease.

Following the dance, all ladies were asked to look for the envelopes under their seat. All ladies received one prize or another, if not the first prize.

My gaze was fixed on Phyllis. Upon opening the envelope, she jumped up with joy waving the envelope in air, turned around to kiss James and hug him tightly in happiness. James had a stupid look on his face, but he did glance at me with an appreciative nod. It took fully 5 minutes before Phyllis glanced at me and I continued putting on sad expressions on my face.

Job done. In fact very well done!

Excusing ourselves from the party on a pretext of feeling tired, my wife and I left while everyone else continued.

"Why are you so quiet?" asked my wife, while I was driving. "I am thinking about business", I replied and kept staring at the road. It was purely by reflex action that I drove my wife and myself safely home. As instead of the road, I only saw flashes from all the scenes of 3 years where Phyllis and I had fun.

Boobies

Left click on the picture to see the album

Daily Circus - Part 3

A gleam of hope flickers as Hong Kong's dark ages may end soon if there is any truth in rumors that Anson Chan, the former Chief Secretary for administration, is forming a new party.

"Although Chan has kept herself away from politics since her retirement, she has decided to form a party after seeing how Hong Kong has regressed over the years and how its financial reserves have plummeted".

And other developments along similar lines give a feeling of euphoria about the future of Hong Kong. However, Hemlock at Gweilo Diaries rightly cautions that:

"Closer to home, what do you do with a friend who tries to be helpful but risks making things worse? Pro-Democracy comments from The US Consul General in Hong Kong yesterday were unremarkable, if not bland, and no doubt well-intentioned. But helpful? No. The last thing we need is deeply hurtful foreign interference in the motherland’s internal affairs, smelly pants. ".

Meanwhile Hong Kong continues its fascination with gambling including fervent indulgence by underage gamblers who are totally oblivious to the advice and experience of woefully miserable pathological gamblers. But with even fewer schools to attend beginning next year, we believe many children will have nothing better to do than to gamble their life away.

In spite of the fact that success is not for the illiterate as is obvious and for those who are not timid. It therefore comes as no surprise that we must create more land to accommodate the rapidly growing influx even if it means securing seriously contaminated land at ridiculous costs.

Only under the merits of recently [involuntarily] acquired taste of Zhujiang Beer we calmly scan the newspaper to find the [not so] unusual subliminal conditioning dose of the day... Developers keen to see land reserve list because construction firm's profit soars 235pc whereupon, luxury flat prices will surge 20pc.

And while recovering from this week's overdose, we are startled by yet another merit of Zhujiang beer when a rich and deep albeit supreme voice resonates in the confines of our study chamber commanding that:

"Ron, If you have nothing better to do during the weekend, go ahead and write next week's Daily Circus comments starting with the property section first".

Upon which, I cannot help but fall on all my fours to the unseen divine presence and express my solemn gratitude.

Credits:

All news links via The Standard who still have the courtesy to post free online news as opposed to it's outdated competition.

More Troubles

Events of Wednesday, December 10, 2003 -

Speeding along GuangShen Expressway, I get a call from Luke, the Chinese owner of the factory in Dongguan...

"I have nothing but good news for you... Xiao Hung and Xiao Wai are here so come directly to the [Eternal Lotus] Chinese restaurant".

I swerve wildly before I am about to hit what looks like a Soviet era truck noisily overtaking me as the driver sneers at me or rather the Hong Kong and China license plates on my car. The eternally puke vulnerable Raymond, my Hong Kong business partner, gives out a groan while cupping his mouth in an effort to subside his shortcomings. He succeeds.

Restraining all urges to turn around and head back to Hong Kong, I keep driving as today is a auspicious day for us to celebrate our [recently acquired] 48% share holding in the Dongguan factory. Which is why I can cross the border in my own car without any threats to my security.

It appears that Luke has made this last minute decision(s), to book the entire [Eternal Lotus] Chinese restaurant which is mostly filled with guests who are his [and now also my] business associates and colleagues.

Arriving at Eternal Lotus, Raymond and I are greeted by what must be a never ending row of firecrackers that explode with thunderous bang and pungent smell. Luke [the Chinese shareholder of the factory] and Gary [the Taiwanese shareholder of the factory], come forward amidst flying bits of exploded firecrackers and each take their turn in hugging me in a brotherly gesture [now we are supposed to be "Hing Tai" or brothers, a word also used by triads!], after which they try to shake hands with Raymond who still has his hands cupped to his mouth. Xiao Hung and Xiao Wai come forward and present me flowers that they apparently must have stolen from a fresh grave of a dead person.

Inside the restaurant, Raymond and I are seated on throne-like seats only befitting emperors and all of a sudden I am filled with nausea for the place. For the first time in my life, I give a very understanding look to Raymond.

That such honor will cost me countless packets of "Lai See" [red packets filled with money and distributed on special occasions] in itself brings out my contempt towards costly and meaningless [at least from my point of view] customs and traditions. But instinctively I raise a toast [of horrible Champagne] and shout at the top of my lungs "Geng Pei" and finish it up. This ensures that I no longer will have to drink the horrible chemical for countless times during the event.

Xiao Hung and Xiao Wai surround me and cling on to me unashamed of more than 168 people watching on [including the restaurant staff], while another gorgeous beauty puts fruit in Raymond's mouth. I would rather be glad to have her rather than both of mine.

On a pretext of going to toilet, despite the risk of being called "Sun Khwai" [bladder challenged or one who is weak and cannot hold his urine], I get hold of Luke and drag him all the way out of Eternal Lotus...

With a [forced] benign smile and [faked but] extremely grateful expression, I ask him what prompted him to invite Xiao Hung and Xiao Wai?

Unable to comprehend my dislike and anger [as was meant to be, or at least I hoped he could read between the lines] of the arrangement, he excitedly announced:

"They told me that you promised them to rent a house in Dongguan so you could have a lot of fun. Since that day, they have stopped working for the club and are eagerly waiting for you". In fact, I have already rented a beautiful house that will cost us [and he emphasized the us, as now it was the factory going to pay for that] 7,000 Renminbi per month with all furnishings. Tonight you go with them to your new Dongguan house".

There I stood, totally dumbfounded on the porch of Eternal Lotus, in total silence for about two minutes before I could manage that:

"I also promised that I will fuck their brains out. Apparently, they still have their's where as I had lost mine".

Hoping for the last time that he would somehow understand that Westerners and their selection of vocabulary is equally complicated to mean different things in different context. Similar to the Chinese. But... my message was lost!

He kept patting me on my back and said:

"Yes, they told me that they were very satisfied on that night".

All I could do in spite of my other troubles was to give him another "Hing Tai" hug showing my [nonexistent] gratitude for his efforts.

With a hope that I could as effectively control my passion for women as I can control the destiny and my acquisitions via Feng Shui, I reluctantly walk back in the restaurant alongside Luke.

Revealing a constant beaming smile and unable to hide his excitement throughout the celebrations, Luke was totally oblivious to the fact that the day I was desperately awaiting since my childhood, of becoming a factory owner, was totally and irreparably ruined.

Visiting the factory later on, after sending Xiao Hung and Xiao Wai to the new Dongguan house, we spent the afternoon discussing all the complex challenges that lay ahead of us including the upcoming visit of a prospect [or hidden competition] from Japan scheduled for the next week.

Considering the change in [development of] technology and economies, it was safe for me to announce that we would not allow the Japanese to visit our factory and facilities but only entertain them at local entertainment venues.

Looking at the perplexed faces of Luke and Gary, I assured them that, it wasn't necessary to create competition for our products by exhibiting our R&D. Especially not to those who had a stronger distributor base in America than we have. And if the prospects are capable and beneficial to us, they would have to prove it before they step in our factory.

All of a sudden Luke got up and gave me yet another "Hing Tai" hug, saying "We are so lucky to have you". Gary, the one who initially invited the Japanese, looked away. Apparently unhappy. Because he realized that now it was a serious business and not a capitalist vs. communist game anymore.

Despite repeated attempts by the E.D.P in charge to focus one of the surveillance cameras connected to internet on a group of Dongguan factory girls [some who look even more gorgeous than Xiao Hung and Xiao Wai], they kept getting a blank channel with server routing errors. For this, I am sorry that I could not keep my promise of yesterday.

A late dinner with all the shareholders of the factory at night, resulted in a [proposed] restructure for 2004, where I will be spending more time in Dongguan. Will I be able to update my blog as frequently from Dongguan as I can from Hong Kong? Well, this is something I must wait and find out. If not, I could always drive back at night, though not every night.

After thanking Luke for all his troubles of arranging Xiao Hung, Xiao Wai, and the house, and explaining that I must rush back to Hong Kong for urgent business matters, all of us shake hands vigorously with now almost tiring "Hing Tai" hugs. Looks like this will have to be endured for ages to come.

Driving along the [now] dark GuangShen Expressway, I place a call to the new house and tell Xiao Wai that I have to urgently rush to Hong Kong for some business and so will not come "home" tonight. While it is evident from her gasps that she is heartbroken and even Xiao Hung joins the chat, I have no option but to keep chatting with them while driving in the "Emergency Lane" of GuangShen Expressway [GuangShen Expressway or most expressways in China have four lanes as in "Passing Lane", "Main Lane (light vehicles)", "Main Lane (heavy vehicles)", and "Emergency Lane (for stopping by - in case of troubles)"] at 180 Kilometers per hour. No Soviet era trucks this time, but Raymond snoring loudly in his baby like sleep.

Exactly at 10:46 PM we cross the border to Hong Kong and Xiao Hung and Xiao Wai get cut off. While the day's event at Dongguan becomes a faded memory, the factory does not!

P.s.: Joyce, I will only answer your question regarding "In Troubles" after [our corporation's] tomorrow night's Annual Christmas Ball when I expect the story to come to a pleasant end for all parties concerned. Many thanks in advance.

Daily Circus - Part 2

Sin may prevail under "flawed" justice! Or so we are told:

"The main grounds of Sin's appeal will be that he was not on duty, so the offences did not occur in the course of his duties, and that the prosecution had failed to prove Sin had not paid for the prostitutes' services."

Oh honey, but I did pay you by my sensual kiss...

Hong Kong allows prostitution [legally] only under one condition - "Yat Lau, Yat Fung", which means one house one phoenix or chicken [as in a bird but meant to be a prostitute]. However, Sin was found with two women in the same room at a well known hotel and the women were supposed to be from a night club and not a apartment, according to other local newspaper reports.

Undoubtedly, the case will take an interesting turn of events, as it would be unfair to a police officer who cannot enjoy basic civilian rights [as stipulated by law] when off duty, if none of the above accusations are evidently proved.

We regret that Sin was not a regular reader at "See Lai" when the events occurred otherwise our advice would have been invaluable.

Ignoring Sin, we move forward to other serious problems related to Police force. "Could you lend me some bullets if you want a fair fight?" are fears those in the police force might be pondering about their future shoot-out with criminals.

While new Commissioner of Police, Dick Lee, an ardent fan of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony, is confident that despite the budget cuts of 11% his force will be able to effectively improve the forces, we believe that future criminals will offer "free sex" by illegal Phoenix immigrants to avoid shoot-outs. Happy days are here again... The morale, in our opinion, must receive rapturous boost.

While we, at "See Lai", humbly constrain our pride about the fact that local publications have now started publishing our stories just two days after our report, we are nonetheless stupefied by the nonsense in the reports:

"The police have not seized any fake coins in the past three years"

and...

"Based on the number of fake banknotes seized in Hong Kong in the past three years, counterfeit yuan in Hong Kong is not a serious problem".

Are people donating the fake coins and Yuan/Renminbi at the feet of world's largest Sakyamuni Buddha? Beware Buddha... don't convert them in local banks, unless you want to be relocated to Stanley [prison].

And while on the issue of currency or funds, we believe that Hong Kong is resilient, or at least the spirit of proposals will ensure that Hong Kong retains its largest exporter status in spite of significant lower exports during 2003. It matters not if our biggest export in future will be SARS or the different colony of virus who have re-colonized Hong Kong. The pride that we are the largest re-exporter of China can not be blemished, at any cost! And we are rest assured that should we run out of commodities to export, future forecast is secure or will be secure as the search for bird-flu source intensifies.

Before we almost run out of patience with repetitive boring news that last from Monday to Friday [the news sto