The Dream House Furniture
As I enter the living room, I see Bert holding a thick book. Sitting next to him, I realize that it is I-KEY-AH's catalogue of what looks like cheap plywood furniture. "I am planning for the future," he tells me as he picks up a bunch of grey papers with blue outlines. Upon closer look, I realize that the papers are supposed to be the outline of his apartment's floor plan.
"This is where Apple will cook," he points at what looks like a kitchen, "and this is where I will eat!" he points at what looks like a dining area.
"And this is where you will bonk Apple!" I resist my urge to point out the master bedroom on the floor plan.
"You know," Bert looks at me with dreamy eyes, "I am very happy. I mean..." he looks at his palms before he continues, "I mean, never in my wildest imagination did I figure that I would have a Chinese wife and I would be married in Hong Kong." Unable to say anything, I smile.
"I am waiting," he shrills excitedly; "I am waiting for the big day to come around." I nod. Ignoring his expectant expressions resembling a dreamy moron, I spice the shit before I dish it over to him.
"Look," I tell him, "only lost gwailos who cannot speak a single word in Cantonese go to I-KEY-AH stores in Hong Kong. Be wise," I tell him, "and source some good interior designers. I would be the last person to decorate my house with something that looks like redesigned piece of shit."
My wisdom is lost on him. "You know?" he looks assuredly at me, "Apple thinks that I-KEY-AH is the right choice." Unable to override the female dominance overpowering him, I simply nod. "And," he continues, "Apple and I are very dedicated in creating our dream house." I smile.
Whether or not Bert benefits from my wisdom or advice is immaterial. He can go ahead and decorate his home with whatever he likes. But what entertains me the most, throughout the conversation, is the fact that after nearly two years, Bert will get out of our house and live in his own apartment (with Apple)!
Paradise, as it seems, is almost within my grasp, even if I had to endure for almost two bloody long years!
Cheers!





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