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« November 2005 | Main | January 2006 »
UPDATE (January 1, 2006 - Click only if you are 21 years old or above):
What happened after I flooded Audrey's inside!
END UPDATE.
Well, what could be better than Nude King's sexy and unusual New Year's countdown?
Note: In case you aren't aware, Nude King on the Blog is See Lai's sister site, and also written by me.
Cheers!
Amy Yu and Mei Li are fighting it out in the Model of the Year contest. Look at their scores.
Who will win? Well, that's up to you. Only two days to go, and I must say that it's rather exciting.
Cheers!
Early evening, and Bert drags Ah Chig and me into the garden. "I just composed my very first song," he says, "and even Apple thinks it's great."
Ah Chig and I look at him in surprise as he pulls out his 3G phone, selects an audio file (probably recorded by Apple and Bert to the accompaniment of some Jazz music), and plays it. The rough and unsophisticated voice of Bert screams out of the speaker of his phone:
Shit happens,
Yes, it happens,
Happens, happens everyday,(Female chorus* – happens everyday)
But don't you fret my dear,
Now, don't you fret my dear,(Female chorus* – don't fret my dear)
Just take some toilet paper,
Or a roll of tissue paper,
(Repeat...)And wipe it; wipe it all away,
Wipe it all away,
Just wipe it all away,(Female chorus – wipe it all away, wipe it all away... fades)
"How 'bout that?" he asks us.
"Simply unimaginable!" I bark. Ah Chig doesn't look so sure.
"But why sing such songs when your wedding is just around the corner?" I ask Bert.
"No, no, no," he shakes his head vigorously. "I was inspired by Ah Chig's troubles, and therefore this song is dedicated to him," he says.
"Aha!" I nod. Ah Chig, on the other hand doesn't seem impressed and keeps staring at Bert. He is convinced that Apple and Bert are laughing behind his back. Well, I think so too.
Cheers!
* - Apple's voice alongside Bert trying to sing in a soft voice, before switching back to his normal voice after the chorus.
"But will creation of milk take place?" Ah Chig asked, as the three of us – Ah Chig, Bert, and I – sat in a bar enjoying our men-only pre-Christmas party. Chinese/Russian ballet dancer or not, Ah Chig's English teacher seems to have impressed in his mind that everything in this godforsaken world "has taken place," "is taking place," or "will take place."
Funny English aside, Ah Chig was asking us a serious question – Can a woman lactate after undergoing breast-implant surgeries? And would there be side effects?
The look in her eyes says it all, "I want it now!"
She discards a bit more and stands up.
And she walks towards the bed. Your eyes devour her magnificent behind!
Cheers!
Have fun and enjoy folks! And thanks for reading See Lai. Will make it better next year!
Cheers!
Credits: I received this card from a kind friend and asked his permission to post it here. However, he doesn't want to be credited. Nonetheless, I think you will agree that he has a vivid imagination. Brilliant!
Regular readers know that Bert's wedding(s) [really, make that plural, I kid you not!] is (are) just around the corner. And like most couples (including my wife and myself - twenty plus years ago), Bert is deciding on wedding-photographs-packages offered by several business-hungry studios.
Bert is a rich guy, and his wedding-photographs' budget (in my opinion) is quite expensive (how many photographers dare take underwater video surrounded by sharks?). Well, that's wonderful and I would clap endlessly to appreciate his enthusiasm of showering photographic joy on his beloved Apple. But there's a problem...
He wants me to make the final decision and select the photographers who will capture the magnificent moments of his wedding(s). "Why me?" I am asking myself as I write this post.
My logic is simple. Investing a single dollar in your wedding photographs is like flushing your money down the drain. For example, first year after marriage and people are so enthusiastic that they place their wedding photographs in the living room (and out here in Hong Kong, pile albums under the coffee table to terrorize the guests). Second year, the photographs are mysteriously transferred to the master bedroom. And three years down the road, they are under the bed or in an unreachable corner of the closet. God forbid if you end up with a divorce! In that case, the investment in wedding photographs amounts to nothing more than TOTAL LOSS!
Why then should I be bothered about selecting the best studio/photographer(s) for Bert? If he continues with his behavior, he will definitely end up with a divorce. And such presumptions inform me that even a single dollar spent for Bert's wedding photographs is a waste (of dollars). Let me be stoned to death for uttering such truths words.
Cheers!
Watch this video and you will agree that videophone is a bad idea!
Moderately safe for work (Windows Media Player required).
Cheers!
Credits: Link via email from avid reader Iceman.
Your neighbor's wife beckons you. You run to her house.
She wants to do it right there and then! "Bonk?" she asks as she clutches her breasts.
Cheers!
Vote for Hemlock's Diary in The Weblog Awards (for political sites and personal diaries)!
He is witty and funny and I admire his unique writing style. And his insightful selection of topics definitely makes my day! Besides, since Shakespeare is dead, now we can only rely on Hemlock (read his diary to see what I mean) for daily laughs.
Dear reader, I throw my full support behind him and I hope you do the same! So click the (first) link above and vote for him. Many thanks in advance.
Vote once everyday, until December 15, 2005 (yes, time is critical and almost running out of time). Well, let us beef up the votes (for him) and we will celebrate his victory by uploading pictures of the most sensational and
sexy models, guaranteed to astound you!
Cheers!
PS: Hemlock is unaware I am promoting him here, but I support him because I think he deserves that award.
"Judge not a woman by her looks, but judge her by her heart." That was my only advice to Ah Chig, last Sunday.
But Ah Chig had a list of requirements – "Huge balls and hips will be necessary for healthy children to be born!" Balls? I started wondering and soon realized he meant boobs. "But fatness should not be present." Right! We can understand that. "Softly speak very necessary, and happiness is goal of life." All right! Brother Ah Chig is looking for a soft-spoken woman who is not bitchy, is harmonious, spreads happiness, and doesn't make life difficult for him. "Future life very important for family and not waste money outgoing and shopping taste."
Voting for Model of the Year (2005) is in progress (top - left sidebar).
To make the contest interesting, I have selected the option of "multiple selections." This means you can select more than one model (by checking multiple option boxes) and vote for them with a single click.
I will tidy up this post and the previous post, as well as update the (October and November) scores in Model 2005 Album. In the meantime, go ahead and vote, and let us decide who will be Model - 2005.
Cheers!
I am (on a one day trip) in Singapore and will return tomorrow afternoon.
I will try to upload Model of the Year voting software (if I get some time tonight). Apologies, and sorry for the delay.
Cheers!
I am working on the code and voting options for Model of the Year and most probably, I should be able to upload the voting software by tomorrow.
Last year we skipped Model of the Year as I was hospitalized, etc.
Anyway, hurry up with your votes, and let us decide who the winner (Model of the Year - 2005) is.
Cheers!
Like a solitary bolt of lightning striking the tallest tower on the ground, Ah Chig appeared in the doorway of our house. But that was last Saturday. A lot has happened since then. In fact, the constant action and excitement since Ah Chig's arrival has been so overwhelming that I could hardly find time to write about it.
Based on Ah Chig's (and Bert's) previous adventures, regular readers will have a mental image of the ever-exciting duo. However, it is time to reevaluate Ah Chig. He is no longer the village boy who couldn't speak English or Cantonese. Well, he still can't speak Cantonese. But English? Since he left and returned, he claims he has been learning English from a Chinese ballet dancer who used to live in Russia. Hmmm... Now that's amazing!
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