See Lai

Kung Hei Fat Choi!

To all See Lai readers... Happy New Year ...wish you a very Happy and Prosperous New Year

Cheers!

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

Cheers!

Kung Hei Fat Choi

Last year we were embarrassed and didn't want to say "the year of the 'cock'." This year, we feel people will take it personally if we say, "wish you a happy new year of the dog." I guess it's the same when rat year comes around. So we will simply say:

Here's wishing you a very happy and prosperous new year!

Last night, Bert asked me a stupid question, "what is the significance of the year of the dog?"

Not wanting to mislead him anymore, I was very upfront when I told him:

"This year you need to bonk all your women doggy-style!"

He gave me an understanding nod.

Cheers!

Hungry Ghost Festival (714)

Note: Click the links (in all related articles) to get a better grasp of this grand finale of Bert's "past life relatives."

Foolish is a man who looses an opportunity. And not many come by. One of the advantages of living in Hong Kong includes the random usage of Chinese traditions that can be blended with Western ideas at will. And with such ideas and inspirations, I decided to entertain myself with yet another prank on Bert.

"Tonight's the night," I told Bert and Ah Chig after our daily swimming session. The extremely superstitious Ah Chig, who by now can speak simple English, agreed that the 14th day of the 7th month of Chinese lunar calendar was a very significant night for most Chinese. In essence, 714 or the Hungry Ghost Festival is a bit like Halloween. Except that it is supposed to be devoid of fun.

It is supposed to be a serious day and especially night, when most believers stay indoors and avoid the wandering spirits and ghosts who are supposedly allowed to roam freely in "our world." In fact, seventh month of lunar calendar was the main reason why Ah Chig once again extended his visa and decided that he wouldn't return to his hometown during the ghostly month. Staunch believers insist that one should not travel, change residence, or move furniture during this inauspicious month.

"So what are we exactly supposed to do tonight?" Bert asked me with childlike innocence.

The Magic Box

"When you bury your Lai See envelopes in auspicious corners," I spoke in a mystic-like voice, "your wishes come true."

Looking at Bert's well-known stupid but eager expressions, I continued, "that is how I got married, and have been happy ever since."

During Chinese New Year, married couples give red envelopes called 'Lai See' to unmarried people and kids. Usually, each such Lai See envelope contains a HK$50 or HK$100 banknote, and more if the person is a close relative or a friend.

Throughout the day we had lots of visitors. Mainly my wife's relatives, our family friends, and my business associates. And upon knowing that Bert was single, everyone gave him Lai See envelopes. Including some with considerable amount from my father-in-law, my mother-in-law, my wife, Mrs. Ng (whose husband has left her for good), and myself. By evening, I was a bit jealous of Bert and his bulging pockets holding at least 90 such Lai See envelopes.

Since my marriage, almost 20 years ago, I have never received Lai See. Nonetheless, sitting in the garden and enjoying the cool breeze and a drink with Bert, I had decided that I wanted to take all that belonged to Bert, including the one that I gave him.

"You mean if I want to marry Apple, all I do is bury my Lai See in auspicious corners like you say?" Bert was really falling for my Roman-Catholic-Church kind of sales pitch!

I looked at him indifferently and said, "yes, that is what they say." Whoever they may be!

"And when do I take it back?" Bert asked, the selfish part of him not wanting to let go for good.

Kung Hei Fat Choi

Happy New Year!

Today is the first day of the Chinese New Year - Year of the Rooster, and I wish everyone a happy, prosperous, healthy, and peaceful year.

With so many people in our house; who are behaving as if this will be my last Chinese New Year celebration, it will be difficult for me to blog for one or two days as I must join them in the celebrations.

Especially since the overexcited Mother Hen (my mother-in-law) is squeaking and fluttering throughout the house, day and night. 

However, here is wishing everyone enjoys a great bonk. After all, it is the Year of the Cock!

Note: Had to use Kaila's picture from past, as few women look nice in a traditional Chinese Cheongsam.

Cheers!

Chinese New Year

"Everything stale and unwanted from last year," Ah Chig spoke in simple Chiu Chow dialect, "must be thrown out of the house." Nodding my head in approval, I pointed at the nearest unwanted object next to me - Bert.

Under the expert guidance of Ah Chig, the army of three maids, Bert, Apple, Mrs. Ng, and my wife had decided to give a new and fresh Chinese look to our house for the upcoming Chinese New Year.

Urgency and tension also filled the air, because Operation Chinese Conversion had to be accomplished before the arrival of Her Irritating Highness – my mother-in-law, accompanied by a brave man who has tolerated her for decades – my father-in-law.

Having washed all the walls, floors, and even the ceilings with detergent mixed with water and disinfectants, the army then proceeded to wax and polish furniture in the entire house. Even lighting fixtures were brought down, washed carefully, and screwed back in place.

Next part of the ritual – place all the special Chinese New Year fresh plants (too many to list them or their names here) and flowers in auspicious locations around the house. “Will red imported fire ants (RIFA) crawl out and kill the family?” I had my doubts…

The Vulgar Countdown

It was probably a very good idea that right after the countdown at our own house, my wife and I forced our kids to go to bed. The countdown to 2005 was very normal, but what transpired afterwards was far from normal.

While I served mild drinks to my wife, Mrs. Ng, Apple, and our maids (who have been with us for years and we consider them as part of our family), I fixed some tricky cocktails for Bert. After two such cocktails, Bert was half drunk when he suggested:

"Ron, let's do the Full Monty for the ladies!"

Happy 2005

Couple of hours down the road, my family including Mrs. Ng, Bert, and now Apple, will countdown to 2005.

Well folks, thanks a lot for all your support in 2004. If I could, I would hug you all! Once again, thanks a lot for all the warmth, support, and love. Y'all almost cured my pains!

Anyway, wish you all:

A Very Happy and Prosperous New Year!

I know it is going to be a great year. I am sure it will be.

Cheers!

PS: Originally I planned to post a girly picture here on this event, but after the tsunami tragedy, I changed my mind. Sorry.

Season's Greetings!

See Lai wishes you all happy holidays. Have fun, enjoy, and...

Merry Christmas! Cheers!

Happy Thanksgiving!

For most Americans, Thanksgiving is on fourth Thursday of November (for Canadians it is second Monday of October).

Anyway, throughout the year we have laughed at Bert. However, today I have nothing but praise for him. Since 07:00 am today morning, Bert has been busy with turkeys (notice: plural as we are having a huge feast tonight with lots of guests invited), and he even decided to take a day off.

If anyone can thaw, stuff, roast, carve, or grill a turkey, Bert can! He has been at it all day long, and he also cooked the side dishes. My wife, Mrs. Ng, Catherine, and my maids are so impressed by him that they can't stop praising him.

Even I am impressed. And so, in tonight's party, I promise I will not make fun of Bert and neither play any tricks on him. May Bert be with us on every Thanksgiving Day. He is simply wonderful and I mean it!

I hereby declare his crime (of being interested by Queer Eye) totally forgiven.

Well, Happy Thanksgiving everyone and I want to take the opportunity to thank all See Lai readers for supporting me and this site and all the care and concern you have always showered. Y'all are great. Thank you.

Time to bring out the Cornucopia and enjoy!

Cheers!

Mid Autumn Festival

The Stories of Sheung Ngo Pun Yuet (Cantonese) or Sheung Ngo goes to the moon (English)

There are many versions of the story associated with the legends of Mid Autumn festival, or as known as Chung Chau in Cantonese. Chau is autumn, and Chung means the mid or middle. Chung Chau means the middle of autumn, which starts from the seventh month and lasts until the ninth month of the lunar calendar.

The most prominent version of the story has it that in ancient times there were 10 suns, making it unbearably hot due to absence of night. Therefore a brave but tyrannical ruler Hau Ngai (Mandarin = Hou Yi) shot down 9 suns with his bow and arrows.

In return, he was granted the elixir of immortality. But his wife, Sheung Ngo (Mandarin = Chang E), didn't want the people to suffer forever under the tyranny of Hau Ngai. And therefore, she drank the elixir herself. Upon drinking the elixir, Sheung Ngo then floated to the moon, and now is believed to live eternally on the moon.

According to a second version of the story, a king named Hau Ngai (Mandarin = Hou Yi) was infatuated by the beauty of a young girl named Sheung Ngo (Mandarin = Chang E).

Hau Ngai asked the girl to live in his palace so that he could visit her whenever he wanted. Even though Sheung Ngo lived in the palace, she did not like Hau Ngai and so kept to herself without uttering a single word. Hau Ngai tried to impress Sheung Ngo by lavishing her with many expensive gifts, but Sheung Ngo was unmoved.

Like every other girl in those times, Sheung Ngo believed that a god lived on the moon, who when appeased; promised beauty, marriage, and fertility. Sheung Ngo also worshipped the full moon every month by burning incense, wax candles, and offering fruits and flowers.

During one such full moon of the eighth month of lunar calendar, Hau Ngai visited Sheung Ngo with three magical pills given to him by the palace priest. The pills were supposed to guarantee immortality, and Hau Ngai wanted Sheung Ngo to share the pills with him so that they could live forever.

Sheung Ngo didn't want to live with Hau Ngai forever and so for the first time she spoke to him and asked to see all three pills. When Hau Ngai gave her the pills, she consumed all three pills and then floated to the moon. Now it is believed that Sheung Ngo eternally lives on the moon with an old man (the moon god) and his pet, a bunny.

Legends aside, like every other festival on planet earth, Mid Autumn or Chung Chau has its origins in the calendar system or more precisely the farmer's calendar. All calendars mainly identify time and seasons on our planet with relation to solar system objects, especially the sun and the moon.