See Lai

Kung Hei Fat Choi!

To all See Lai readers... Happy New Year ...wish you a very Happy and Prosperous New Year

Cheers!

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

Cheers!

Kung Hei Fat Choi

Last year we were embarrassed and didn't want to say "the year of the 'cock'." This year, we feel people will take it personally if we say, "wish you a happy new year of the dog." I guess it's the same when rat year comes around. So we will simply say:

Here's wishing you a very happy and prosperous new year!

Last night, Bert asked me a stupid question, "what is the significance of the year of the dog?"

Not wanting to mislead him anymore, I was very upfront when I told him:

"This year you need to bonk all your women doggy-style!"

He gave me an understanding nod.

Cheers!

Hungry Ghost Festival (714)

Note: Click the links (in all related articles) to get a better grasp of this grand finale of Bert's "past life relatives."

Foolish is a man who looses an opportunity. And not many come by. One of the advantages of living in Hong Kong includes the random usage of Chinese traditions that can be blended with Western ideas at will. And with such ideas and inspirations, I decided to entertain myself with yet another prank on Bert.

"Tonight's the night," I told Bert and Ah Chig after our daily swimming session. The extremely superstitious Ah Chig, who by now can speak simple English, agreed that the 14th day of the 7th month of Chinese lunar calendar was a very significant night for most Chinese. In essence, 714 or the Hungry Ghost Festival is a bit like Halloween. Except that it is supposed to be devoid of fun.

It is supposed to be a serious day and especially night, when most believers stay indoors and avoid the wandering spirits and ghosts who are supposedly allowed to roam freely in "our world." In fact, seventh month of lunar calendar was the main reason why Ah Chig once again extended his visa and decided that he wouldn't return to his hometown during the ghostly month. Staunch believers insist that one should not travel, change residence, or move furniture during this inauspicious month.

"So what are we exactly supposed to do tonight?" Bert asked me with childlike innocence.

The Magic Box

"When you bury your Lai See envelopes in auspicious corners," I spoke in a mystic-like voice, "your wishes come true."

Looking at Bert's well-known stupid but eager expressions, I continued, "that is how I got married, and have been happy ever since."

During Chinese New Year, married couples give red envelopes called 'Lai See' to unmarried people and kids. Usually, each such Lai See envelope contains a HK$50 or HK$100 banknote, and more if the person is a close relative or a friend.

Throughout the day we had lots of visitors. Mainly my wife's relatives, our family friends, and my business associates. And upon knowing that Bert was single, everyone gave him Lai See envelopes. Including some with considerable amount from my father-in-law, my mother-in-law, my wife, Mrs. Ng (whose husband has left her for good), and myself. By evening, I was a bit jealous of Bert and his bulging pockets holding at least 90 such Lai See envelopes.

Since my marriage, almost 20 years ago, I have never received Lai See. Nonetheless, sitting in the garden and enjoying the cool breeze and a drink with Bert, I had decided that I wanted to take all that belonged to Bert, including the one that I gave him.

"You mean if I want to marry Apple, all I do is bury my Lai See in auspicious corners like you say?" Bert was really falling for my Roman-Catholic-Church kind of sales pitch!

I looked at him indifferently and said, "yes, that is what they say." Whoever they may be!

"And when do I take it back?" Bert asked, the selfish part of him not wanting to let go for good.

Kung Hei Fat Choi

Happy New Year!

Today is the first day of the Chinese New Year - Year of the Rooster, and I wish everyone a happy, prosperous, healthy, and peaceful year.

With so many people in our house; who are behaving as if this will be my last Chinese New Year celebration, it will be difficult for me to blog for one or two days as I must join them in the celebrations.

Especially since the overexcited Mother Hen (my mother-in-law) is squeaking and fluttering throughout the house, day and night. 

However, here is wishing everyone enjoys a great bonk. After all, it is the Year of the Cock!

Note: Had to use Kaila's picture from past, as few women look nice in a traditional Chinese Cheongsam.

Cheers!

Chinese New Year

"Everything stale and unwanted from last year," Ah Chig spoke in simple Chiu Chow dialect, "must be thrown out of the house." Nodding my head in approval, I pointed at the nearest unwanted object next to me - Bert.

Under the expert guidance of Ah Chig, the army of three maids, Bert, Apple, Mrs. Ng, and my wife had decided to give a new and fresh Chinese look to our house for the upcoming Chinese New Year.

Urgency and tension also filled the air, because Operation Chinese Conversion had to be accomplished before the arrival of Her Irritating Highness – my mother-in-law, accompanied by a brave man who has tolerated her for decades – my father-in-law.

Having washed all the walls, floors, and even the ceilings with detergent mixed with water and disinfectants, the army then proceeded to wax and polish furniture in the entire house. Even lighting fixtures were brought down, washed carefully, and screwed back in place.

Next part of the ritual – place all the special Chinese New Year fresh plants (too many to list them or their names here) and flowers in auspicious locations around the house. “Will red imported fire ants (RIFA) crawl out and kill the family?” I had my doubts…

The Vulgar Countdown

It was probably a very good idea that right after the countdown at our own house, my wife and I forced our kids to go to bed. The countdown to 2005 was very normal, but what transpired afterwards was far from normal.

While I served mild drinks to my wife, Mrs. Ng, Apple, and our maids (who have been with us for years and we consider them as part of our family), I fixed some tricky cocktails for Bert. After two such cocktails, Bert was half drunk when he suggested:

"Ron, let's do the Full Monty for the ladies!"

Happy 2005

Couple of hours down the road, my family including Mrs. Ng, Bert, and now Apple, will countdown to 2005.

Well folks, thanks a lot for all your support in 2004. If I could, I would hug you all! Once again, thanks a lot for all the warmth, support, and love. Y'all almost cured my pains!

Anyway, wish you all:

A Very Happy and Prosperous New Year!

I know it is going to be a great year. I am sure it will be.

Cheers!

PS: Originally I planned to post a girly picture here on this event, but after the tsunami tragedy, I changed my mind. Sorry.

Season's Greetings!

See Lai wishes you all happy holidays. Have fun, enjoy, and...

Merry Christmas! Cheers!