Nude King On The Blog

Bored

Third consecutive day, I sit alone in Wonderland's conference room. Rafael is missing. Probably hugging and cuddling his baby pandas. Wonder Boy is missing too. But I hear shrieks and squeals from dungeon-like rooms in Wonderland. Perhaps, he is enjoying with women from Jiangsu, or Guangxi, or wherever it is they force sexy young women to entertain those who have been reelected to oversee millions or billions of helpless people.

Bored with boredom, I flick open my laptop and read email messages. There's one who thinks it appropriate to write to me in French.

Delete!

The next one is from a Nigerian, asking whether I want to give my bank information in exchange for a couple of millions of US dollars that some leader's secret account is still stashing away from the eyes of those who murdered him, blah blah blah?

How many morons are there on this planet who still keep this kind of fraud going on and on and on? One would think they would be extinct by now.

The third one is from a twenty-three-year-old lady. Whatever the lady might be doing in real life, at least she is fast and to the point when writing emails. The email reads:

"Hi,

I am 23 year old (sic) and I look like Gigi Leung.

I read your site and see (sic) beautiful women. I am beautiful and I likes (sic) sex. I think we meet (sic?). My mobile is 6xx0 5xx9. You calls (sic) me.

Loves,

Renee`

To which I reply:

"Howdy,

Tonight. The Bridge. My mobile is 6xxx 8xxx. Come in a black leather mini-skirt and bra-top and I will bang (into) you (sic?).

My dogma ran over your karma, and all those silly jokes.

Ciao!

Morning Has Broken...

After a long absence, I return to Wonderland's conference room. The throne is empty, though Rafael is sitting on a chair playing with his mao-tai bottle. The voodoo incense burning in the corner convinces me that even though not in the conference room, Wonder Boy must be somewhere around.

"Where's the freak?" I ask Rafael.

"Out on a field trip to public housing estates telling people how proud he is to have won this election!" Rafael says as he shrugs. Then he smiles. A minute later, he cackles. And suddenly, he leaps from his chair, runs towards me, and hugs me.

"Come brother," he places his arm around my shoulder, "have a drink with me."

Instead of pouring the drink for me, the happy-go-lucky bear-like character opens a fresh bottle of mao-tai and hands it to me. "Well," he says, "who knows? This could be the last drink we have together; as I have decided I don't want to work with Donald."

I am a bit shocked. Life without Rafael would be boring. And I doubt I could single-handedly tackle Wonder Boy.

"But why?" I ask him. "We had fun for two years, and even though we need to work odd hours, overall, the pay is good."

"Well," Rafael stares at the ceiling, "it all started with the pandas. In the short time I met them, I feel like they are my babies. And I want to watch them grow up, get married, and all that stuff." He flashes a picture and shows it to me.

"Don't we look like one happy family?" he asks.

I nod. And despite tears trickling down my eyes, I smile. After Rafael's departure, Wonderland's conference room will be a boring place. And even I am unsure whether I want to hang around. But in any case, I wish him well. His eyes are wet too, as he smiles. And both of us raise our mao-tai bottles and start singing:

Morning has broken, like the first morning
Blackbird has spoken, like the first bird...

...Mine is the sunlight, mine is the morning
Born of the one light, Eden saw play,
Praise with elation, praise every morning
God's recreation of the new day...

Ciao!

PS: Photo credits - Rafael's collection.

Video Credits - Unknown.